dommes

[neloangelo1227]

I don't think there's a solution out there that would please everyone. I'm not categorically opposed to dudes pretending to be chicks, but I've decided to stop hanging out in the chatroom because of this. I'm regrettably straight, and have absolutely no interest whatsoever in having a guy involved in anything that even vaguely comprises my sex life. I know that the salient argument here is "it's just a harmless fantasy", but I respectfully disagree.

In my opinion, this site, and the activities it's built upon, are a subset of BDSM. BDSM is about trust. Screwing around in the chat is fun, but now that I realize I can no longer trust that the woman I'm talking to is a woman, the appeal is gone. Call me superficial or homophobic, it's just how I feel. And I know that it's a little silly to say, "I won't chat with women online who aren't really women." How can you know? I can't. "Kylie" fooled me. I'm not pissed off at him or anything, but I am disappointed. Of course I had fun when I thought he wasn't a guy--I didn't know it was false! So, yeah, before I found it, it was a harmless fantasy. Now it's still pretty harmless, as fantasies go, but it now feels like a negative experience to me.

I'm sure I don't speak for everyone out there when I say this, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather be bored and untitillated than fooled into playing with a guy.

[neloangelo1227]

Because that completely destroys the point, nobody would willingly wear said asterisk.

True, but on the other hand it wouldn't destroy the experience of those who do not want to believe

Depending on where Milovana goes in terms of chat software, it would actually be possible for people to have a "reveal real gender" option set, as long as everyone agreed to play along with that. Of course, the hetero-curmudgeons like me would have to play nice and not ruin it for everyone.

[neloangelo1227]

Sorry to see you go, dude. No hard feelings... look at it this way--experiments only fail if they don't teach you anything.

[Jaberwocky]

See you around...

Don't forget a small sign at the end of your new name, eg an asterix

I can imagine someone has about 108 reasons not to enter chat.
There are a few women who sometimes enter chat, of who you can be sure they are real. Though with the 1 to 100 ratio, don't suspect they will tease you the moment you'll enter chat.

As some of you recently have found out:
"If something is too good to be true, it probably is"

No hard feelings...

[Lindsey]

I wasn't planning on posting anything in this thread, as i'm not normally one for internet drama. But I feel compelled to say something about it. For the past few months i've been in pretty steady contact with member behind the Princess Kylie facade, both on and off the forums. I was unaware of the additional screen name until this whole mess came about, when he confessed it to me.

Anyways, without getting into anything too personal, I know i'm probably going to bring about feelings of betrayal from him by even saying anything about the situation, as he's definitely not the type of person for pity. But I will say this; Normally, it's something that would probably upset me. Maybe quite a bit, depending on the mood I was in, and the circumstances it was under. But, as i've been talking to him in a daily basis for quite some time now, I know he's going through some pretty intense issues in his personal life. A lot of which i've been through in the past and wouldn't wish on my most hated nemesis (not that I have hated nemeses, persay. But I suppose it would make my life a little more interesting ;) ).

It's not an excuse, or a justification. Just a reminder, that before you find yourself getting caught up in the drama and throwing words around that may possibly embellish the extent of your distaste for the situation, think about the motivation someone might have behind synthesizing a fantasy that's outside of the possibilities in their real-life day to day routine.

Some people, like myself, may come here because they find value in exposing their most intimate thoughts under the cover of anonymity and slipping off the inhibitions that stem from the societal and relationship oriented consequences of acting in such a way in their real life. Others, i'm sure, have woven the fabric of their persona here into something that may be, although not true to their real physical self, an intricate projection of their deepest fantasies and thoughts for others to interact with. Call it an act, a fantasy, a deceit, or a lie. It's still not all that far off from the former situation.

I found myself feeling an out of the norm response to the situation, and not being upset in the least. Maybe because I know it's probably just what he needed for a little escape from reality right now. Believe me, i'll get a lot of flack for posting this. But it's more important to me that I don't see him getting hurt anymore from feeling guilt that grows from peoples' reactions to this thread. If I can do just a little to quell that, it's worth being called a few names and having to explain myself. Not that i'm sure he'll call me names, but still. ;)

My 2 cents.

-L

[TheGraduate]

I don't think there's a solution out there that would please everyone. I'm not categorically opposed to dudes pretending to be chicks, but I've decided to stop hanging out in the chatroom because of this. I'm regrettably straight, and have absolutely no interest whatsoever in having a guy involved in anything that even vaguely comprises my sex life. I know that the salient argument here is "it's just a harmless fantasy", but I respectfully disagree.

In my opinion, this site, and the activities it's built upon, are a subset of BDSM. BDSM is about trust. Screwing around in the chat is fun, but now that I realize I can no longer trust that the woman I'm talking to is a woman, the appeal is gone. Call me superficial or homophobic, it's just how I feel. And I know that it's a little silly to say, "I won't chat with women online who aren't really women." How can you know? I can't. "Kylie" fooled me. I'm not pissed off at him or anything, but I am disappointed. Of course I had fun when I thought he wasn't a guy--I didn't know it was false! So, yeah, before I found it, it was a harmless fantasy. Now it's still pretty harmless, as fantasies go, but it now feels like a negative experience to me.

I'm sure I don't speak for everyone out there when I say this, but when it comes down to it, I'd rather be bored and untitillated than fooled into playing with a guy.

You made one huge error in this: you assumed that you EVER could trust that a woman on the internet was a woman at the keyboard right off the bat.

[Lindsey]

You made one huge error in this: you assumed that you EVER could trust that a woman on the internet was a woman at the keyboard right off the bat.

There are those that exert huge amounts of mental energy second guessing all the intentions, statements, and actions of others. And there are those who like to believe that people as a whole are trustworthy enough to go through life being cautious, but taking peoples' words on their merit, and taking trust away when it's been broken.

You're part of the former, and he's part of the latter. It doesn't mean his faith in people is an error. It's how he chooses to view things. Is it an error when you're skeptical of someone who has good intentions? If I follow your logic in a straight line, you're skeptical of me. Should I ignore you if the opportunity comes up for us to chat sometime...because assuming i'm female because I say I am is an error? I'm I wrong for assuming you're a guy?

Don't get me wrong. I'm a pretty skeptical person. I secretly think everyone is out to get me. But you can't push your agendas on people, or say theirs are wrong because they don't fall in line with your way of thinking. This also kind of hits home with me, as someone i've had an online, um, social dynamic with for a while recently specifically asked me if I was *really* a girl. It made me feel about this big.

I'm not attacking you, we're all friends here. Just pointing out that there *are* in fact, different ways of looking at the world.

-L

[TheGraduate]

You made one huge error in this: you assumed that you EVER could trust that a woman on the internet was a woman at the keyboard right off the bat.

There are those that exert huge amounts of mental energy second guessing all the intentions, statements, and actions of others. And there are those who like to believe that people as a whole are trustworthy enough to go through life being cautious, but taking peoples' words on their merit, and taking trust away when it's been broken.

You're part of the former, and he's part of the latter. It doesn't mean his faith in people is an error. It's how he chooses to view things. Is it an error when you're skeptical of someone who has good intentions? If I follow your logic in a straight line, you're skeptical of me. Should I ignore you if the opportunity comes up for us to chat sometime...because assuming i'm female because I say I am is an error? I'm I wrong for assuming you're a guy?

Don't get me wrong. I'm a pretty skeptical person. I secretly think everyone is out to get me. But you can't push your agendas on people, or say theirs are wrong because they don't fall in line with your way of thinking.

I'm not attacking you, we're all friends here. Just pointing out that there *are* in fact, different ways of looking at the world.

-L

I think you misunderstand me. I am actually pretty comfortably convinced you're female, and if it turned out I was wrong, I'd congratulate you at being extremely good at roleplaying. If I meet someone online claiming to be female, I start off at 50/50 belief/disbelief, and shift as I come to know more about them. It's a passive thing, it's not taking any of my mental energy. I'm just used to the fact that on the internet, anyone could be anyone and to let yourself be so affected as to never come back to a chatroom just because one female name came out as having a male player seems really silly to me. Even if I was straight, I'd just change how quickly I got personal with people and be a little more cautious... not make a post about how I'm never coming back.

[TheGraduate]

I don't think there's a solution out there that would please everyone. I'm not categorically opposed to dudes pretending to be chicks, but I've decided to stop hanging out in the chatroom because of this. I'm regrettably straight, and have absolutely no interest whatsoever in having a guy involved in anything that even vaguely comprises my sex life. I know that the salient argument here is "it's just a harmless fantasy", but I respectfully disagree.

You know all but a small fraction of the teases here are penned and designed entirely by guys, right?

[Lindsey]

I think you misunderstand me. I am actually pretty comfortably convinced you're female, and if it turned out I was wrong, I'd congratulate you at being extremely good at roleplaying. If I meet someone online claiming to be female, I start off at 50/50 belief/disbelief, and shift as I come to know more about them. It's a passive thing, it's not taking any of my mental energy. I'm just used to the fact that on the internet, anyone could be anyone and to let yourself be so affected as to never come back to a chatroom just because one female name came out as having a male player seems really silly to me. Even if I was straight, I'd just change how quickly I got personal with people and be a little more cautious... not make a post about how I'm never coming back.

Fair enough. Apologies if I got a little overemotional about it. Though, I didn't take it as a personal attack at me, by any means.

[TheGraduate]

I think you misunderstand me. I am actually pretty comfortably convinced you're female, and if it turned out I was wrong, I'd congratulate you at being extremely good at roleplaying. If I meet someone online claiming to be female, I start off at 50/50 belief/disbelief, and shift as I come to know more about them. It's a passive thing, it's not taking any of my mental energy. I'm just used to the fact that on the internet, anyone could be anyone and to let yourself be so affected as to never come back to a chatroom just because one female name came out as having a male player seems really silly to me. Even if I was straight, I'd just change how quickly I got personal with people and be a little more cautious... not make a post about how I'm never coming back.

Fair enough. Apologies if I got a little overemotional about it. Though, I didn't take it as a personal attack at me, by any means.

not a problem

[rbtheservant]

A very interesting thread to say the least. Just my two cents here, because I really am trying to become more involved in this site that has granted me so much pleasure over the last few years.

To begin, and perhaps I am really wrong here, everyone is here to live out a fantasy that they most likely can not live out in their real life. I realize there are the lucky few who do get to act upon these fantasies and I must satisfy myself with living through them vicariously, those lucky bastards! This site and the whole concept of tease and denial has been a tremendous outlet for me and a great escape from reality. I guess that is my point. This site for the most part is FANTASY. Fantasies take shape and form in all varieties. I can understand the anger when someone bursts your proverbial bubble and the magic is lost, but one needs to focus on the entertainment. If, (and I am not sure of the exact situation here), someone was "playing" with you and you derived pleasure from it, then be happy that you had that great moment in time where reality was suspended and you could be a kid again. In today's times, adults have forgotten how to play. With real life, work, family, children, parents, etc. bringing you down, it is nice to escape the pressures and enjoy yourself. Be glad you had the fantasy regardless if the administer was male or female. Who cares? At the time of the play your mind created the proper images and response. The fantasy was with a female domme and that should be the end of it. If the reality still bothers you, pretend that the "exposed" deceiver was just a lie and the female domme still exists. Bottom line, it doesn't matter if the domne was male of female, you had fun at the time, and FUN is what this is all about.

I suspect I have opened myself up to the firing squad here, but that is O.K. it makes Milovana that much more of an interesting place to spend my free time.

"The more intelligent the mind, the greater the need for the simplicity of play"

[Human]

I just had to resurrect this thread
I am not fine with guys pretending to be girls or vice versa; it counts as deception for me.
Yes, the teases here are mostly by guys; but the level of involvment is far far less.
I also understand that there are people who are fine with this. The problem is, this deception unfortunately casts doubt on every real girl too. Some people would not be fine with this; and that is their choice, their preference. Just like some people would not be fine with teases written by men; and that is a valid choice too. Deception is soomething non-consensual.

Milovana is about sexual freedom; thus, if you do this misrepresentation, even if it might be fine with a lot of members; it would negatively impact the others. It then becomes not just about giving to the community, but taking from the community as well

[AngelAnna837]

Just reading though this thread and thought i might give an opinion

I think, considering that one of the main fetitishs of this site being femanization, that it is quite infair to condem people for exporing an alternitive persona in order to further expand there kink but on the other hand, i do see the point that someone pretending, for example a man pretending to be a femal Mistress, can be very un-nevering, espically considiring the amount of trust that should be expressed in that Dom/me sub relationship.
but then on yet another hand, alot of this site is based on fantasy and teasing and expolartaion so, unless it is something that is transfered in to a real life situation, i dont really see a huge issue with anything in the short tearm if both parties involved are getting what they desire. i think the issue arrises when there is an emotinal attachment involved, i think if anything progresses to that stage in a relationship then the truth should come out becuase its no longer a role-playing situation and it mearly transentds into one person lying to another which is more likey to end in hurt.

it is defintly dificult but i think as long as no one is getting hurt then i dont think it shoud be a great issue.

but thats just my opinion

Anna x

[Heathcliff]

I just had to resurrect this thread
I am not fine with guys pretending to be girls or vice versa; it counts as deception for me.

At the risk of contributing to the resurrection of a long dead thread, I couldn't let this pass with out comment. Human: I think you're somewhat missing the point of the conversation here. I'd hazard the guess that everyone here would agree that "deception is bad!!!" but he real thrust of the thread is if it's within a members right to "call someone out" on no real evidence. To question the motives of another member.

The catch-22 is that if you question the motives of every self proclaimed female on this site, it forces the real ones to "prove themselves innocent" so to speak. Not an enviable position to be in.