FB: Sibling Rivalry

[analanytime]

Lastly, I have a personal preference to share. I would love a little cum play. I just hate to see all of those ruined juices go to COMPLETE waste!

^ this, I completely agree, mom might become suspicious if you are leaving loads around the pool or in the kitchen after all

1885: This is simply the best tease I have seen to date, incredibly engaging, you have me hooked, Can not wait to see where this goes!

[LostKey]

Hello peoples, starting a new tease series.

Please to put feedback here for make better of future installment.

Teases like that keep me visiting milovana. Thank you.

You did a good job.

xxx LostKey

[1885]

Most of all though the story is great, and it keeps me engaged. I love a good denial series, but if I'm not into the story or I don't connect with the characters then I just can't keep it up. With your stories though I feel like I have a connection and a reason to continue on suffering for the characters. In fact, I can't start another tease until this one ends, because I feel obligated to keep up my end of the deal as the viewer.

Thanks for feedback, Ruined! The next installment

Spoiler: show

might leave you feeling a little drained, given how you've approached the series, and not in the fun way implied by your namesake. Still, I hope you'll think it was worth the wait.

This is simply the best tease I have seen to date, incredibly engaging, you have me hooked, Can not wait to see where this goes!

You did a good job.

Thank you very much, peoples. The wait is over, Part 5 is up!

Spoiler: show

It was extremely challenging to write this one (thanks for the moral support Allit!), for reasons that will probably be obvious to anyone who plays through it.

I'm especially interested in feedback for this one, good or bad. This series is drawing to a close and I want to end it as strong as possible. Everyone's input has been amazing, thank you so much!

[jared7577768]

Best series I've ever experienced. I agree with all the others...the story is engaging, and the pics are so perfect for the characters you've created! It is incredibly erotic and a real endurance test! I've never had to hold edges so long! Can't wait for the conclusion! Thanks for all your hard, creative work!

[prawndiddy]

The next installment ...

Holy crap. I'm not even sure how to say this without just sounding like everyone else, but the whole thing turned on its head in part 5 such that I'm tempted to call it a masterpiece. I'm very curious how you're going to end it.

Now I guess I might not use masterpiece in an absolute sense, compared to classic lit or something, but compared to any other tease I've seen it's leaps and bounds above, even your own. I tried doing the double agent series after seeing all the installments and the high ratings, but it didn't suck me in and seemed... contrived. Not just in the situation, but in the conflict. Obviously the situations are going to be contrived; it's a story. :) But the fact that I'm even paying attention to the conflict in this one, heck the fact that there IS a conflict, is actually amazing. (I think part 5 added a lot of depth to the conflict. Before then it seemed a lot more superficial.)

So, halfway through part 1 when the conflict is revealed I recoiled a bit as an emotional response of both not believing it would play out that way, but also just the primal revulsion to what it would mean if it did play out that way. And that second part is actually a great response for a story to elicit, even if it's uncomfortable for the reader. It's about as much as I can hope for from most "real" literature anyway; I don't usually agree with the character motivations of most authors. :)

Now that I've seen part 5 I feel a little more of that incredulity on how things might play out, but honestly you've managed to create characters with more personality and depth than (I would imagine) a lot of romance novels. And nothing against other tease authors, especially any non-native English speakers, but your grammar and language are impressive on nine out of ten pages.

Spoiler: show

I'm really torn on the use of the song at the end of part 5. As someone who likes the artist, and that song in particular, it added a very strong attachment to it. It's been stuck in my head ever since. :) But on the face of it it seemed... just a bit corny. But then again, so do most rom(/com) movies that hook in a song to the big revelation scene. So yeah, I'd have to say that was some quality writing outside of my own perspective on it. I'm slightly curious if you tried splicing in some sections of the song to play along with the text. I don't think it would work out as well as I'm imagining, but maybe...

Anyway, I'm very much looking forward to part 6. I think whether or not I'm satisfied with your wrap up, I can't argue that this is an amazing storyline, and especially a script, for a tease.

-- Oh! Yes, and I agree that the 2 models you chose are super cute. I was sad when I went and looked them up to discover that they're solo models and not porn actresses (yet?). I was a little less sad to discover that Hailey is somewhere here in Vancouver near me.
--
Also:
Generally I prefer the Mokkori approach to teases: forced stroking games and edging, without too much in the fetish or kink realm. (I've got my kinks but generally I find that when they're included they really bog down the direct sexiness of everything.) Your style is pretty close, but to the discussion point on page 2, the open ended on/off stroking isn't quite what I'm looking for compared to a stricter, more game-like approach there. I love the metronome and timers, for example, so in the grand scheme of teases I've tried you get maybe an 8/10 on the stroking aspect. I understand your philosophy though; this isn't a simple "awesome competition" type of choose-your-own-adventure tease. It's a story, and it's built on the dialog which a complicated stroking game would get in the way of.

I would say that the edge holding is actually pretty excessive... if I'm actually holding and riding an edge, say in AC2 or something, the 10-30 second timers are about all that make sense. (Especially when I know there's going to be more than 1...) Whether or not I can manage, I don't think 2 minutes is really holding it, one way or another. Either I'm okay and gradually cooling down, or I'm just doing something every few seconds to maintain without going over. While maybe that's what you're going for, it's hard to imagine that's what is intended.

[1885]

The final part is up!

I just want to say thanks to everyone giving their feedback (and damn prawndiddy, that was simply some epic feedback). I've taken a lot of new stuff into consideration thanks to everything you guys have said, and incorporated it into the way I write. Let me know how it all turned out, and next time I'll be in a better position to mix it up a little more from the start.

[veneloy]

I didn't ever think that somebody or something would force me to write my first post here, and suddenly 1885 out of nowhere. You crazy little plot twister, I couldn't come up with a better ending to this series (although it still doesn't beat bonus one in Flashback series, I literally woke up half of my house with uncontrollable laughter @ 2am) Yet again you prove that you're most likely the best webtease creator on this site, congratulations.

Just one complaint, or maybe two:
1) for a girl who constantly complains about her parents being too strict and not letting her enjoy herself Hailey has an unbelievable amount of tattoos and piercings, I don't know if she was a good choice
2) I don't know if it's only my problem, but the usage of profanity in your teases is kinda bugging me - neither am I some crazy Westboro morality defender nor an immature anti-religion atheist, but all those Gods and Godddddddds are sometimes getting on my nerves and ruining the mood (not in a religious way, just as a word)

[arthurb]

Wow. Mindblowing

[prawndiddy]

Bravo.

[Incubo]

Well now...that was unexpected!
It's been a while since I've read a tease with a truly surprising ending.
Very nicely done.

[Riikka]

Oh the feels. This series was the only one in all my years here that I've actually been emotionally attached to. Kudos to 1885, you are a master.

[1885]

All right, finally got a minute to catch up on some of this feedback here.

I tried doing the double agent series after seeing all the installments and the high ratings, but it didn't suck me in and seemed... contrived.

Yeah, it was a little contrived. I wanted to try something epic, but I kinda realized early on that it wasn't quite the epic I was going for. I tried to refocus into something more sympathetic and emotional with Sibling Rivalry...

But the fact that I'm even paying attention to the conflict in this one, heck the fact that there IS a conflict, is actually amazing. (I think part 5 added a lot of depth to the conflict. Before then it seemed a lot more superficial.)

...and apparently succeeded!

Now that I've seen part 5 I feel a little more of that incredulity on how things might play out, but honestly you've managed to create characters with more personality and depth than (I would imagine) a lot of romance novels.

I can't help but wonder if you're still incredulous now that it's over. And I appreciate your comment about the depth of the characters, I really put a lot of soul in bringing them to life - the tease wouldn't have worked otherwise.

But on the face of it it seemed... just a bit corny.

I just can't help myself, honestly. Somewhere beneath all the masochism and swagger is a hopeless romantic yearning to be free. Gets into my writing sometimes.

I would say that the edge holding is actually pretty excessive... if I'm actually holding and riding an edge, say in AC2 or something, the 10-30 second timers are about all that make sense.

A few people have mentioned this, and I'll try to keep this in mind when I'm doing teases in the future. The problem is that I can hold edges for ridiculously stupid lengths of time, and it's hard for me to scale that back to a level that is accessible, but I still personally like.

although it still doesn't beat bonus one in Flashback series, I literally woke up half of my house with uncontrollable laughter @ 2am

It was so hard not to run with that as the actual ending, you don't even know.

1) for a girl who constantly complains about her parents being too strict and not letting her enjoy herself Hailey has an unbelievable amount of tattoos and piercings, I don't know if she was a good choice

Maybe it's just me but in my experience, the stricter the parents are, the more likely she is to end up looking like Hailey, not less.

I don't know if it's only my problem, but the usage of profanity in your teases is kinda bugging me - neither am I some crazy Westboro morality defender nor an immature anti-religion atheist, but all those Gods and Godddddddds are sometimes getting on my nerves and ruining the mood (not in a religious way, just as a word)

"God" is just a really expressive word, it conveys intensity so well that it gets a lot of use from me. I actually make it a point not to capitalize it (unless it's the first word of a sentence), trying to strip as much religious connotation as possible and let it just be an exclamation.

Best series I've ever experienced.

Wow. Mindblowing

Bravo.

Yet again you prove that you're most likely the best webtease creator on this site

Very nicely done.

Thanks a lot guys!

Oh the feels. This series was the only one in all my years here that I've actually been emotionally attached to.

That's exactly what I set out to do here, thank you for letting me know.

[janmb]

Loved the series and the conclusion 1885 - brilliant work as always.

The writing and immersion here is extreme and simply leaves no room for improvement in my opinion - I just want more lol

Spoiler: show

Can I please order a 30-day T&D follow-up?

[janmb]

I would say that the edge holding is actually pretty excessive... if I'm actually holding and riding an edge, say in AC2 or something, the 10-30 second timers are about all that make sense.

A few people have mentioned this, and I'll try to keep this in mind when I'm doing teases in the future. The problem is that I can hold edges for ridiculously stupid lengths of time, and it's hard for me to scale that back to a level that is accessible, but I still personally like.

The problem is that it is so individual how much people can take in terms of edging. Some have problems with a single edge and think 10 is impossible, far less holding any of them. While some can easily do several hundred in a single sitting and hold for great lengths of time.

Personally I love the lever 1885's teases are at - if anything I'd like them harder...

That's another good argument for going with teaseme too btw - where customization is a little easier

[prawndiddy]

Now that I've seen part 5 I feel a little more of that incredulity on how things might play out, but honestly you've managed to create characters with more personality and depth than (I would imagine) a lot of romance novels.

I can't help but wonder if you're still incredulous now that it's over. And I appreciate your comment about the depth of the characters, I really put a lot of soul in bringing them to life - the tease wouldn't have worked otherwise.

Well, I'm not sure where "my" side of the end of part 5 came from, but there was probably no delicate way to add it more gradually. I mostly want to say that the ending of the series is about as perfect for me as it could've been. I really prefer stories with solid wrap-ups and a sense of completion.

Spoiler: show

And a happy one at that. I was dreading one or both of the relationships to fall apart.

Heck, the premise of the tease isn't actually that incredible to me. A couple of weeks ago I caught an episode of a "reality" series that was actually surprisingly close in content. So apparently this sort of thing can happen. ;) (And it was almost exactly the same circumstances, too! I hope I'm not tipping your hand on your inspiration here... heh. But even if this is somehow where your story came from, it was told so well I don't even care.)

But on the face of it it seemed... just a bit corny.

I just can't help myself, honestly. Somewhere beneath all the masochism and swagger is a hopeless romantic yearning to be free. Gets into my writing sometimes.

I want to take my corny back. :) It's such an emotional song that it seemed like an easy ploy, but Hollywood does it all the time and it works for them.

I would say that the edge holding is actually pretty excessive... if I'm actually holding and riding an edge, say in AC2 or something, the 10-30 second timers are about all that make sense.

A few people have mentioned this, and I'll try to keep this in mind when I'm doing teases in the future. The problem is that I can hold edges for ridiculously stupid lengths of time, and it's hard for me to scale that back to a level that is accessible, but I still personally like.

Fair enough. It's probably better than the opposite... I can always drop off when I hit my riding limit, but expecting the player to add their own extra difficulty is tougher to do. I'm impressed at you guys being able to hold edges for minutes.

Oh the feels. This series was the only one in all my years here that I've actually been emotionally attached to.

That's exactly what I set out to do here, thank you for letting me know.

Not my quote, but I wanted to second it. The feels. Right in them. I actually mentioned this one to my wife because she loves the song too, and she's excited to go through it. I like my CH vids and flash teases, but she gets a lot of her inspiration from reddit's gonewildstories. This tease is a great overlap and is probably more realistic than some of the "real" stories over there.

-- OH! And when can we get 5 and 6 for TeaseMe? It would be nice to have a local copy of the story, and high res pics wouldn't be bad, neither.