I noticed you have not gotten any feedback
usually a forum post is a good way to get some.
So I decided to preview your teases.
first I always always recommend write what YOU are passionate about!
don't worry to much about what other's think
I think you have the ability to do some good tease writing you just need to "tighten" up a few things
make them smoother, more of a flow.
Learning from example
This slut made a big mistake and came before she had permission. She will now be punished for her insolence. These lovely tits will hurt, her body will ache, and she will be toyed and broken.
this is THIRD person language
no I, personally don't care
but many people find this distracting. do not use Third person unless you are doing a full story tease
because you mixed a story in with the rest of the idea... it got a bit confusing.
Though, creative! don't stop being creative..
but also do not expect 3.5 scores for creative material
some of my stuff is so creative it barely got past 2.0! lol so YOU decide if you want to change that.
Next
Latex edge
I saw two problems immediately
you have hidden timers... and sort of long timers 1 minute...
generally NOT a good Idea to put a long hidden timer early in a tease
either SHOW the time... or shorten the amount of waiting
I have tested this and the best is about 5 to 12 seconds for a person to read the page
so the rest time is IF they are actually doing the task!
Next your model... always use a woman you personally find sexy
but her outfit ..at least in the first few pages.. frankly is not hot? I am sure she looks great in other outfits!
Finding not just the model, but what pictures to start with is VERY important
you need to "HOOK" the person doing the tease.
So in short I think you are just fine, just some minor... tinkering.. and you will get higher voting
OR you can be like me and say... screw it... this my style
and wait a month or two until people realise that you are amazing!
sometimes the scores do not reflect how popular your tease actually is.
final suggestion, actually "test" your tease
now I never have a tease that does not have a flaw in it!
by testing I mean actually go through your tease in preview read and it and say
is this hot? is this?
ohh that page turns me on!
OR
you can do what I do, go into game room and ask a subby to "test" your tease idea out!
hope to see another tease of yours... sometime!