I love the idea that in a relationship, the woman should have the right to orgasms - as many and as often as she wants. By contrast, I should only get to cum when she chooses to give me permission. Sometimes that will mean denial for me, other times maybe I'd only be allowed to cum in a very specific way that she chooses. Either way, for me an orgasm would be a privilege, not a right, and controlled by her.
I'm not in a relationship at the moment, so I came up with a very simple game for myself which aims to play into the idea of only being allowed to cum when she says. It goes like this...
1. Get yourself as aroused as possible, e.g. by watching some of your favourite porn, reading a really hot erotic story, etc.
2. Edge - the minimum number of edges required in order to be able to play the next part of the game is 5 - this number can be varied but must be decided before beginning to play. Do whatever it takes to make these edges as intense and pleasurable as possible, so that you *really* want to cum.
3. Having completed at least the minimum number of edges, to find out whether or not you get to cum, roll a pair of dice (online dice can be used). Your fate depends on what you throw:
-- any double (i.e. two 1's, two 2's, etc.) and you have permission to cum.
-- anything other than a double - NO cumming for you.
-- if you're not allowed to cum, you may choose to make the sum of the two dice the total number of edges you must complete before the game ends for the day, e.g. if you threw 4 & 3, you get to edge 7 times in total. You've already edged 5 times, so you get two more then you must stop. If the sum is less than 5, you stop immediately - end of game.
4. If you were unlucky and did not get to cum, throw a single die - the number that you throw is the number of days you will be denied before you get to play again for a chance to cum, so you will be forbidden to cum for anything from 1 to 6 days, after which you get to try again.
If your fate is to be denied, you could either not play at all until you next play for a chance of an orgasm, or you could edge daily until you get another chance. Maybe you have other ideas.
The idea behind this is that the real power of denial is hope - the possibility that you might be allowed to cum. The more you want it, the more you feel that there's a chance that you may achieve your goal, the more intense the feeling of being denied becomes. By keeping the hope alive, or at least never too far away, the sense of being controlled, teased, deliciously tormented, is made stronger.
There's a quote from a movie that goes something like this: "It's not the despair. I can handle the despair...it's the hope!" Well, that's the idea I'm aiming for at least.
If you have any suggestions for ways to improve this game, I'd love to hear them.
~ Toby
