FB: A Clockwork Slave

[dorf23]

Tried to come up with something a bit different/fresher, hope you all like it.

I'd really appreciate feedback from someone who has gone through with all of it, just to know if it has the effect I intended it to have :)

[billlr]

Who is the girl in the tease? She's hot!

Bill

[dorf23]

Bunnie Brook :)

[SomeOne]

A little feedback. I rated the tease with a 5, it was a close decision to a 4.
I went through most of it doing what is told, but not everything. I did gag only a short time, i am not into sucking dildos at all, be it boys or girls. And i basically skipped the end, neither cumming or peeing.

The criticism first:
- The tease is a bit short, at least for me. I did gag only a short time, the ass fucking was several minutes, but apart from that, it is just reading, some edges, and drinking. For me in total it was too short to feel the urge to urinate.
- Additionally, 5 glasses and 3 sips were far less than 2 litres (about 1.2 litres i think) - my glass seems to be too small :D I think it is ok this way, but you could add a hint about the size of the glass
- I didn't really understand my role. She asks "Why did you even sign up for this?" I have no idea i signed up for anything? Is it a job interview? For a normal job, for the "clockwork slave" job?
- Maybe a small thing, or maybe because i am no native speaker, but i didn't get the meaning of "clockwork" slave for the tease.
- First edge comes too fast, There is only one other instruction about stroking before (Stroke yourself, feel the satisfaction of it...does it feel good? ), and immediately after that i have to edge. I can do that, but that way i have to work up myself nearly the whole way, where the tease should do more of that before in my opinion :)

And despite of all that, i rated it a 5, because:
- I like the idea, and realization. The plot could be a bit clearer (see above), but when accepting that slave position, the idea of rape revenge, and the development are well done.
- Texts and language are good, that's important for me. Not too much text, not too little, good parts instructions and story.
- You do use some toys, again they are used in a good way. Not too much toys or too much back and forth with them.
- Though i skipped the end (no orgasm for me at the moment), i liked it, it is appropriate.
- edit: Ah, one thing more, i liked the model, and that you tried to integrate parts of the pictures in the story (shower)

I think that's it, keep going, looking forward to Carina :)

[anything4utvbi]

I really enjoyed it.
I would like it to be longer with more teasing and with exact instructions of what to do at the end, because she is the boss! I like not being given a choice.

X

[indica]

Great, looking forward to the next part. Glad to see you're making more teases :)