FB: The Ancient Princess

[playfulotter]

My second tease is up and running. Please leave me all the feedback you want, both positive and negative. I hope to continue to grow as a tease writer and to give back to the Milovana community as much as it has given me.

Thank you for your time and patience.

[LittleElfBoy]

Very nice writing style again and quite a unique story I must say. But from Page 11 onwards, it's not clear where to go once you come. Also, she says that if you cum in the real world, only you get sent back, staying alone in the fiction world. If cum at this point, you can only go to page 10, where the princess is with you as well. You might want to think of something like that next time.

I must say, I kind of liked the Velvet Room more. Had a lot more atmosphere IMO

[playfulotter]

Very nice writing style again and quite a unique story I must say. But from Page 11 onwards, it's not clear where to go once you come. Also, she says that if you cum in the real world, only you get sent back, staying alone in the fiction world. If cum at this point, you can only go to page 10, where the princess is with you as well. You might want to think of something like that next time.

I must say, I kind of liked the Velvet Room more. Had a lot more atmosphere IMO

Well the idea is to not cum after that point. lol
I was thinking about adding a second failure page, but taking advice from The Velvet Room I only wanted one failure path again. Sorry about the complications and confusion I caused.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and it looks like both teases are being well received, which makes me happy. I'm glad you enjoyed both of them.

Again, thank you for the feedback.

[LittleElfBoy]

Well, if you want to clear up confusion, add a few reminders that you can get to page 10. Also, you could change her line "you get send back alone" etc. to something like "I can't allow you to come... or else."

I don't see the point in wanting just one bad end, having multiple bad ends only adds replay value. If it isn't too much work, it would be interesting to have a classic tease that plays out like a CYOA book with branches on (almost) every page.

[playfulotter]

Well, if you want to clear up confusion, add a few reminders that you can get to page 10. Also, you could change her line "you get send back alone" etc. to something like "I can't allow you to come... or else."

I don't see the point in wanting just one bad end, having multiple bad ends only adds replay value. If it isn't too much work, it would be interesting to have a classic tease that plays out like a CYOA book with branches on (almost) every page.

That would be really cool. I always enjoyed those CYOA books and have fond memories of them. I will have to seriously think about your suggestion and weigh the options. It is a very good idea. Thank you.