101 ways to torture your husband

[Sett]

a book by Maria Garcia Kalb. It's not aimed for us and i only read a review, but apparently it's full of devious ideas, e.g. running around the house in sexy lingerie for an hour before bedtime, with no physical contact afterwards.

Does anybody know more?

[les]

In her review

Many of these things are not only cruel, but illegal. Some are just passive-aggressive. And then, some are just laugh-out-loud funny.

I'll share a few of my favorites:

Declare a Chick Flick week.

Repeatedly ask him if you are fat.

Send a Strip-O-Gram (with a male stripper).

Ruin his day with 4 little words (We need to talk).

[Sett]

Declare a Chick Flick week.
Repeatedly ask him if you are fat.

Ok, these are not funny at all

[tom13]

Did they forget the upper-lip-sweat inducing torturous statement: "Honey, I'm pregnant..."

[les]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/wo ... -book.html

[Tiggerly1]

Should be retitled "101 Ways to insure your husband sleeps with your best friend" :)

[Banquo]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/wo ... -book.html

Would love to read the article but i'm buggered if I'm giving the Murdochs any ad revenue via my web traffic.

But from the examples given here I have to agree with Tiggerly. Sounds like the manual to being a complete bitch to me. *chuckles* But then if your husband has been an utter twunt to you then I suppose it's justified.

Banquo

[Incubo]

Well that article lists 10 of these supposedly torturous ideas, but after reading them, I have to say....This woman obviously doesn't know men very well.

1. Repeatedly ask him if you are fat - Men already know the answer to this is "No" no matter what you're wearing. Not exactly torture to just keep telling her "No."

2. Fake it and tell him you did - Um...we already know you do and honestly most men simply don't care that you are so admitting to it is hardly going to torture him. Further, if you have a guy that actually cares, then faking it is only hurting you because he's going to keep doing those things he thinks you liked. Therefore, you'd better get used to faking it because you're not going to get what you want in the future either.

3. Sign him up for a dance class - She does realize that we simply won't go right? Let's be honest here...men are amazing at NOT doing things they don't want to do. As a personal note, I'd rather listen to her bitch about it than go dancing anyway so no brainer here in my case.

4. Treat him to a massage (with a male masseuse) - See previous answer...we just won't go.

5. Send him on a hellish supermarket trip - OK...this might get some men, but if you're going to follow this woman's advice on this, you'd better hope you have a dumb guy because half the crap on that list doesn't exist and the average person would know it.

6. Volunteer him for the school field trip - Answer #3 applies here as well. Though in addition, we'll include work into it. "I simply can't. I have a meeting today I can't miss." or something along those lines. The part about "he'll probably be the only dad there"....um, I'm sorry...where's the torture in that? We'll spend the day Mom watching and probably enjoy it too. I'm sure there'll be at least one worthy of in depth study.

7. Refer to yourself only in the third person - This might be annoying....if we bothered to listen to you at all that is, which as most women will tell you...we don't. Further, do it long enough and we're likely to join you. Who's annoyed now?

8. Finally open up to his family - My family knows exactly how I feel about them, what I like, what I don't, so no danger there. Go ahead. Tell 'em.

9. Ruin his day with the words ‘We Need To Talk’ - This is a horrible statement, I'll give her that, but the premise here is that it's torture because she'll say it as you head off to work leaving you to think about it all day. Again...we're men. Once we're at work, it's rather unlikely we'll spend more than a passing second or two thinking about it at all, so no torture there either.

10. Bribe him with sex , then don’t pay up - And this....This is nothing more than a recipe for divorce. Execute as she describes it and your man will begin to resent you, possibly even hate you, certainly won't trust you anymore and eventually will seek sex elsewhere.

All in all, this book might be mildly entertaining to women. They might get a laugh or two out of it, but like I said at the beginning...this woman obviously doesn't know men very well.

[Banquo]

Well that article lists 10 of these supposedly torturous ideas, but after reading them, I have to say....This woman obviously doesn't know men very well.

1. Repeatedly ask him if you are fat - Men already know the answer to this is "No" no matter what you're wearing. Not exactly torture to just keep telling her "No."

2. Fake it and tell him you did - Um...we already know you do and honestly most men simply don't care that you are so admitting to it is hardly going to torture him. Further, if you have a guy that actually cares, then faking it is only hurting you because he's going to keep doing those things he thinks you liked. Therefore, you'd better get used to faking it because you're not going to get what you want in the future either.

3. Sign him up for a dance class - She does realize that we simply won't go right? Let's be honest here...men are amazing at NOT doing things they don't want to do. As a personal note, I'd rather listen to her bitch about it than go dancing anyway so no brainer here in my case.

4. Treat him to a massage (with a male masseuse) - See previous answer...we just won't go.

5. Send him on a hellish supermarket trip - OK...this might get some men, but if you're going to follow this woman's advice on this, you'd better hope you have a dumb guy because half the crap on that list doesn't exist and the average person would know it.

6. Volunteer him for the school field trip - Answer #3 applies here as well. Though in addition, we'll include work into it. "I simply can't. I have a meeting today I can't miss." or something along those lines. The part about "he'll probably be the only dad there"....um, I'm sorry...where's the torture in that? We'll spend the day Mom watching and probably enjoy it too. I'm sure there'll be at least one worthy of in depth study.

7. Refer to yourself only in the third person - This might be annoying....if we bothered to listen to you at all that is, which as most women will tell you...we don't. Further, do it long enough and we're likely to join you. Who's annoyed now?

8. Finally open up to his family - My family knows exactly how I feel about them, what I like, what I don't, so no danger there. Go ahead. Tell 'em.

9. Ruin his day with the words ‘We Need To Talk’ - This is a horrible statement, I'll give her that, but the premise here is that it's torture because she'll say it as you head off to work leaving you to think about it all day. Again...we're men. Once we're at work, it's rather unlikely we'll spend more than a passing second or two thinking about it at all, so no torture there either.

10. Bribe him with sex , then don’t pay up - And this....This is nothing more than a recipe for divorce. Execute as she describes it and your man will begin to resent you, possibly even hate you, certainly won't trust you anymore and eventually will seek sex elsewhere.

All in all, this book might be mildly entertaining to women. They might get a laugh or two out of it, but like I said at the beginning...this woman obviously doesn't know men very well.

Quoted for truth Incubo you nailed it.

[Sett]

Would love to read the article but i'm buggered if I'm giving the Murdochs any ad revenue via my web traffic.

[les]

Would love to read the article but i'm buggered if I'm giving the Murdochs any ad revenue via my web traffic.

But he read and quoted it.

[Banquo]

Would love to read the article but i'm buggered if I'm giving the Murdochs any ad revenue via my web traffic.

But he read and quoted it.

Au Contraire. Incubo read it and I quoted him. You really must try and focus harder when reading peoples posts les *chuckles* I didn't click the link so therefore I didn't in any way contribute to "honesT" Rupert's empire of ethical duplicity.

Banquo

[les]

Au Contraire. Incubo read it and I quoted him. You really must try and focus harder when reading peoples posts les *chuckles* I didn't click the link so therefore I didn't in any way contribute to "honesT" Rupert's empire of ethical duplicity.

Banquo

But did you read what you quoted ?
I said you read it not paid for it.

[Banquo]

Au Contraire. Incubo read it and I quoted him. You really must try and focus harder when reading peoples posts les *chuckles* I didn't click the link so therefore I didn't in any way contribute to "honesT" Rupert's empire of ethical duplicity.

Banquo

But did you read what you quoted ?
I said you read it not paid for it.

Indeed you did, and of course I read what I quoted *chuckles* but the implication was there that I had clicked on the link....which I didn't *smiles*

Banquo

[mmc1992]

This clipping of a review on Amazon about sums up my thoughts on the matter:

This book is an exercise in misandry. Had a man published a book on "how to torture your wife", he'd be castigated by the very people who gleefully enjoy this book. With a line like "Let's face it: Even the best husbands need a little punishment every now and then" you know what to expect. After all, would a woman think it clever and funny for a man to say "even the best wives need a little punishment now and then"?

It's a tricky subject. I know I can take a look at it and laugh; but not everyone would be able to I'm sure.