Edging your partner

[Nezhul]

so, while watching certain porn I can see that som doms (no matter what gender) are really good at keeping their partner on the edge even when he/she actually tryes to sneak in an orgasm without letting a Dom know. Dominants are still able to catch it and stop.

So, lets share some secrets to how you deny your partners orgasm without any feedback from him (or even if he/she tryes to cheat on you and cum). Personally, I have nothing to say as I had no such experience whatsoever. But being a guy I'm really curious how to deny an orgasm to a girl making her edge multiple times. I think the info would be useful to many other folks.
I also incourage sharing how to deny a male too, if you have that experience.

[janmb]

First of all, let me state janmb's first axiom:

No one can know how anything at all, good or bad, feels like for others. The only one whose sensations we truly know is those of our selves.

With that in mind, edging your partner must necessarily boil down to reading signs, reactions, behaviour - whether they are deliberate, subtle, intentional or not. In short, I am very very impressed at how many dommes (and doms for that matter) manage to edge their partners properly without accidents at all.

Based on myself, knowing how little it takes to make the difference between not-really-an-edge-at-all and well-and-truly-beyond-the-point-of-no-return, I dare say that most videos (if not all) you see of someone edging another are more or less staged, either by the sub acting closer to the edge than they really are, and/or giving their partners prearranged signs not immediately apparent to the watcher.

Again, ref my first axiom, I can obviously not tell how others experience edging, but if it is anything like it is with me, I know full well there would be no way in hell for a domme to edge me without me being able to sneak myself into cumming should I want to - I don't really need any physical difference in stimulation at all between edging and cumming - the difference can be all in my mind, whether I try to hold back or thinking sexy thoughts and trying to cum.

Obviously there are signs of someone being about to cum that you simply cannot mask entirely, such as the PC muscle tensing up etc. But even so, that happens when edging too, so it's still not a tell-tale sign on precisely when to stop.

[Nezhul]

I thought of it being staged. However maybe they are not, and so I ask. For example on some of Hogtied videos with OD, girls are in so much agony and it looks so real, that I don't know how you can fake it.

My thought is this:
1) you can't make someone an EDGE edge, where you literally have 2 strokes before orgasm.
2) But you can bring them quite close so staying there gets frustrating, maybe not after 20 seconds, but after 2 minutes.
3) And when a sub is near the edge all you really have to do is provide short periods of stimulation with pauses between. And no matter how good a stimulation is, 5-10 seconds after 10 seconds rest will never be enough but will hold your partner close.
Am I wrong?

[mbop]

I've seen clips of guys who are the 'strong silent type' -- no moaning, grunting, gasps of pleasure, leg movement, hip thrusting, lip biting, toe curling, raising their body off the bed, or pained facial expressions (kinda boring). For that type of man it seems like it'd be very difficult if not impossible to edge him without his help.

In my experience when a man starts out in bed he may be more outwardly happy. By that I mean he might tease you, laugh, smile, or play around. But when they're on the home stretch to an orgasm they become serious and more focused.

Physically you can notice subtle changes in the stiffness and texture of their genitals. Their penis will stiffen just a little bit more, their balls will draw up to their body and their scrotum will become tight. That only really helps for the first edge though.

As for edging women, I can only speak for myself but when I'm close to the edge I tend to contort my body, part my mouth, raise my body off the bed in anticipation, and turn my feet into little foot fists. My vagina will clamp down more often and forcefully, both consciously and not, in an attempt to get over the edge and to hold onto whatever is in there. If you think your partner is close at all you shouldn't touch her clit at all or maybe only one rub/lick at a time -- anywhere else is probably fine and most likely won't push her over, in a similar way that if you think a guy is close to the edge you shouldn't apply too much stimulation to his cockhead. Rub her lips or finger her instead (although women are highly variable on this -- some get a lot more out of simple penetration while for others like me it's not quite enough unless I am very close, so you have to know what she likes).

It mostly comes down to experience with your partner and getting a good rhythm though. After awhile you'll learn how far you can push and how long you have to wait before going back and then you'll get into a nice up and down flow.

I've never tried it with someone who wasn't at least somewhat cooperative though. The feeling of preparing to orgasm is a very subjective, personal experience that isn't easily accessible to outsiders. I don't think you could even get much help if they were in a brain scanner or if you had them hooked up with electrodes and blood pressure monitors. There's no secret sign. And the most blatant signs are when it's too late and they're already cumming anyway.

[boner20]

If you're by yourself though, how can you keep yourself on the edge and if you go over, how can you ruin it?

[Sett]

I have to agree with janmb, what you see online is simply staged. I can't imagine how someone would be able to get me to that one-stroke-short-of-disaster edge, considering how often i can't estimate the situation myself.
The only way i can think of would be monitoring PC muscle (via anus would be surest way, but there are other options). I wouldn't really call that edging since you can barely scratch the surface of an edge before contraction, but i imagine this is probably even more frustrating for the sub. You see the sub would need to keep their PC muscle relaxed to get that feel of the edge, but that's obviously not possible so they would only get a taste of it, but never really a good edge.
Still excellent torture i think