feedback for in her sights

[jscamp]

please leave feedback for in her sights

[someone43]

I never thought I'd say this about a tease with Angelina Jolie in it, but I couldn't get into it.

There were way too many instructions per page and it didn't allow me to get immersed into the tease.
Then with it ending by the 3rd page, I was just baffled, voted, and moved to the forums.

The instructions themselves were good, but if you spread out the instructions over more pages it would be a much better tease.

[jscamp]

thats what i wanted but there was not enough pics of her with guns

[str0be]

I agree with angusobrian about too much on each page.

As for not having enough pics, you can just use a pic on more more than one page. I think even if yo doubled up each pic and split the text to accomodate, you'd be up to 6 pages and it would be better.

One piece of advice about the writing itself would be to not have so many lines start off with 'now'

"now cover your nipples in wax completely
now cover your belly in wax
now drip a bunch on your chest
now on your thighs
now your balls
now your cock
now your ass. "

The way it's written is more like a grocery list as opposed to a woman talking to you.