So, feeling adventurous, I’d finally found the nerve to buy myself some cute women’s panties. At this point you’re probably rolling your eyes at my painful noobishness, but let me explain that I am a walking pile of shattered and jangling nerves. Just shopping for men’s underwear is embarrassing (I wear them ‘till they’re more holes than cotton), so buying the panties was a big step forward.
That night, I was eager to find a tease that called for women’s undies. Having stripped naked at my virtual mistress’s command I clicked “next” and saw she wanted me to shave – you know, “down there.” Heaven knows what came over me, but I decided to go for it. The only problem – I didn’t have a razor, only a beard trimmer and an electric.
What followed was a rushed, haphazard, hack-job. I nicked myself twice in places no guy wants to see blood. The end result looked terrible. It was rough, uneven – not sexy at all. And I was too worried about stubble, razor-burn, in-grown hairs, and the possibility of someone, somehow seeing me like that to even enjoy the humiliation. Worse still, the tease didn’t even turn out to be very fun. I went to bed feeling most sorry for myself.
This morning, I bought a some razors and cream and cleaned myself up quite a bit. My scrotum itself still has some hair (another nick persuaded me to let it be) and my crotch remains a primordial jungle, but my bush has been razed smooth.
Now to wait anxiously for it all to grow back...
