For Princess Carly

[mastah007]

A long time ago I was Princess Carly's slave. However our time together ended abruptly:

http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=5927

After I was finally allowed to cum after intense teasing and denial I didn't contact her to ask for my next orders until about a week later.

What really happened?

This is how I described my cum day and the time immediately after:

"I could not sleep the entire night before my cum day, I was so high like I was on drugs. Then once you finally let me cum I got some serious mood swings, almost a depression, all the released hormones messed up my mind. For days afterwards I felt down and not up for anything. I was waiting for you to message me and tell me what to do, but deep down I knew that I should have messaged you first asking for my next orders instead of just waiting passively. I want to offer my most humble and sincere apology for that."

I've since realized what happened. I've experienced it a couple of times when my denial has been especially intense. After lengthy denial when I am finally allowed to cum all the released tension somehow affects my mood and changes me. As I described above I almost get a depression that lasts anywhere from a couple of days to about a week. What I should have done, and will do in the future with any mistress, is message Princess Carly and tell her how I was feeling and let her decide what to do about it instead of staying silent.

Now I see that Princess Carly has returned and I believe is once again looking for a slave. I have learned from the experience and I believe I am ready to be a better slave today than I could be back then. Failing like that has only made me realize my mistake and what I am missing. I may not be perfect but I'm not stupid enough to make the same mistake twice either. I am aware of my shortcomings now and the fear of failing again will only serve as a reminder to be a better slave.

Please make me your slave again Princess Carly.

[mastah007]

Thank you Indy for your words. I also think it's the right thing to deal with the post the way you said. Unless the thread turns into more of a general discussion of mood swings etc. in that case we could keep it as a separate thread. Oh and congrats on your promotion Mr. Bigshot.

I was instructed to have 4 orgasms in the last 2 hours and then come back here and share how I was feeling afterwards. I wasn't really feeling up for 4 orgasms in such a short space today, but of course I forced myself anyway as I was told to do. I feel exhausted now. I really couldn't have done any more than 4 that's for sure.

I still feel the same about the topic though. I would like to get back into it and play as someone's slave (hopefully Princess Carly's).

But to be honest that experience I shared in my opening post did, at the time, make me question if I was really cut out for teasing and denial. Or maybe if I'm really just into short-term. I'm glad I had the experience, if nothing else I learned something about myself that I think is good to know. We'll see how it goes in the future.

It must be an individual thing, for me I've found through experimentation that after about 5 days of denial or so I start to get really affected by it. That's sort of the threshold for me, depending on how much I get teased though. I get trouble staying calm during the day (some rushes of adrenaline) and for the same reasons sometimes trouble sleeping at night. Also I wake up earlier in the mornings than normally. It's both a feeling of energy but also restlessness. I guess that's part of what makes this kind of play exciting but it can also be scary sometimes how much it really affects you. Anyone else recognize the feeling of almost being a different person before and after orgasm?

It's quite a journey to explore such a base emotion as lust. I think everyone should try to experience it, if only just one time, just to get to know yourself better.

[Human]

. I guess that's part of what makes this kind of play exciting but it can also be scary sometimes how much it really affects you. Anyone else recognize the feeling of almost being a different person before and after orgasm?

Oh yeah. During denial (previous best 20 days), kinky fantasies. After orgasm, realize how crazy the fantasies are. Wonder what is wrong with me. Realize nothing excites me other than sex which is stupid. Go into a tailspin. Wonder why bother with life at all.

But I come out if pretty quickly (within minutes). Maybe because I'm not as intensely submissive as you. And because I have an "alpha" part.

I remember a while ago, a guy had panic posted on a porn forum. He was moaning that after having an orgasm, he became so depressed and disgusted with himself that he deleted his entire porn collection
One of the reply was that the 10 minutes following an orgasm are the most dangerous for men

[Snot]

My wife says I'm more of an ass hole than normal after an orgasm... Despite how much I try to be nice.

This is the longest I've been locked up. My old record for denial was around 3 weeks. I think this might be my first chance to experience depression after an orgasm.

[shell]

It's good to see you 007!!! *bright smile*

I like this thread...............I think it's good for people to discuss what they are feeling during T&D and release afterward. *Smile*

Good topic!
And good luck with Princess Carly *Smile*

*gives you a warm hug*

[Human]

My wife says I'm more of an ass hole than normal after an orgasm... Despite how much I try to be nice.

This is the longest I've been locked up. My old record for denial was around 3 weeks. I think this might be my first chance to experience depression after an orgasm.

How are you an asshole? And for how long?

Are you sure its just not you being a normal person after days of being super duper nice to your wife which is perceived as being an asshole?

[shell]

Spoiler: show

I typically have what I term "Buyers remorse". While I'm actively denying myself, or when I get in an intensely sadistic mood, I like to edge myself as much as I possibly can. I used to hate this, but lately ... *shrugs*

Anyways, eventually, I get so lost in the fantasy I'm imagining, or Anna drives me completely insane, or I just get so horny I don't care anymore, and I inevitably tip over the edge. Most of the time it's a full orgasm, but I've ruined a few, with similar feelings afterwards.

I start off feeling like a failure. I set out to tease myself, and blew it. Then I start thinking about how the agreement was, I wasn't going to let myself cum, and I broke my word. The initial relief at having an orgasm is overshadowed by the fact that the "high" I was feeling while I was on edge has faded away, to be replaced with the feeling of casual aloofness that typically happens afterwards. I lose interest in everything except sleep, or perhaps a hot shower. Depending on if I'm alone or not, maybe a decent time spent cuddling, but most often I just feel bad because it's over.

... so go on, tell me I'm not insane ...

But...but....I'm not suppose to lie!!!! *giggling*

Of course you are not insane! *Smile* Loved the description.....thank you for sharing. *smile*