Just added my first tease..

[susanrhodes]

hope you all like it

i will try to improve as time goes on

all constructive criticism welcomed

Its called "I'm in the Garden"

[spice23]

You did an excellent job on your first tease! Keep writing it got me very hot. When I write teases i try to fit different kinds of kinks into the tease. You did a good job with the balls punishment, still a little sore! try to do a little nipple tease, or spanking or whatever comes to mind to add to your next tease.

Have fun with it, i like the younger woman in control theme but anyone in control is good for me!

[ts]

For a first tease I must say it is great!

Excellent use of the pictures - the face-expression matches the text in pretty must every page! Well done!!

But just telling you that you do great wont help you improve, so I will suggest some point where you could improve: The story, your plot was very simple and easy to follow which is a good thing - But I would like a bit more story (Of course this means more creative work, and if I have to choose I would rather have more works from you than less works and more creativity)
The second thing you could improve on is length - It could be a bit longer I think... (There is a limitation in the number of pictures of course (But pictures can be reused somewhat)). And I guess I would always like good teases to be a bit longer, lol.

I must confess I had to think quite a bit about these improvements, it isnt easy to point out flaws in your tease - Good job!

[susanrhodes]

thanks for your comments, i will try to take them on board for next time!!

as a guide to others / explanantion of what i did is as follows -

i did a quick search through some photos off "thehun" http://www.thehun.com

then i tried to think of a story which match the pictures (you are quite right that there wasn't that many photos so i had to make it a bit shorter than i would like!!)

i believe that if you can make a story a little believable then it adds to the whole tease/denial, as you can imagine it happening to you.

the more a tease can wake your imagination, the better your mind can see

Don't forget that a mans dick is not the biggest sex organ in your body - it is your brain!!!!!!


anyway, sorry for waffling on, maybe i should get on with creating another tease better and bigger.......... :-)