[Release][feedback] The redpill wife

[MrNadra]

Sup dudes,
just released my first tease, the redpill wife.
try it here -->>> https://milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=68191
I had an absolute blast making it and learning along the way.
Now i'm looking to make a series out of it and need feedback.
Was it:
Too much edging?
Too little edging?
too repetitive?
does it need crazier plot twists to be exciting?
does it need ruining?
Help me out here folks.
I've played it 2 times after finishing it and tweaked some stuff.
It's definitely not perfect(i attribute that to being new to the editor and general inexperience in story pacing)
I basically made shit up based on the picture sets i found as i went.
And i only included things i enjoy,
so if ruining is your thing let me know im up for anything but poop.
Should i write an actual script or do you do the same.
Enlighten me fellow gooners and goonets
edit: id also like to know if the writing style is bearable. Not a native speaker here sorry

[giannitrib]

I started it yesterday - really liked the idea
Thought i'd see how far i could get through it in one day - got as far as day 5 and that was really long
While the story is good, and it's got lots of edging and edging games, my main feedback is at times there are a few too many sequences where you need to edge multiple times to the same picture and that starts to get a bit repetitive

Spoiler: show

This is particularly evident in Kyla Cole's edging ladder (is that day 2? i forget) where for each rung it is 1 picture where you edge 1,2,3,4,...9 times to one picture
Day 3 for the boss's wife vanessa has good progression through the photo set but then the ending sequence you have 6 quick fire edges to the same picture. The image is a good one but it would help if it changed for each edge

If it could maybe have a bit more progression even if it's only slightly different pictures instead of edge 5 times to this picture then that would be better

I haven't got through the whole story yet but so far i've liked the plot twists - will maybe start from day 3 this time and see if i can get from there to the end. Personally not really into ruining but having it as a punishment for failure generally in the tease makes it interesting - perhaps a ruin button throughout with a punishment route for failure?

The text seemed generally fine - there may have been some spelling/grammar issues but so far nothing that meant i couldn't follow/understand it

Hope that helps, will try and go through a bit more and looking forward to your future teases

[Madfree3]

I completed Day 1 and 2 yesterday and days 3 and 4 just now. It's a great tease. My cock was so hard and my balls are so full now. The story line is awesome and the amount of edging and edge holds is very challenging. The women are so hot. Some of the slides I think stay on a little too long and yes, as mentioned, a change of the picture during multiple edges would enhance the experience. Possibly some nipple torture would add to the fun.
That said, I think this is overall an awesome tease and I can't wait to continue.

[MrNadra]

I started it yesterday - really liked the idea
Thought i'd see how far i could get through it in one day - got as far as day 5 and that was really long
While the story is good, and it's got lots of edging and edging games, my main feedback is at times there are a few too many sequences where you need to edge multiple times to the same picture and that starts to get a bit repetitive

Spoiler: show

This is particularly evident in Kyla Cole's edging ladder (is that day 2? i forget) where for each rung it is 1 picture where you edge 1,2,3,4,...9 times to one picture
Day 3 for the boss's wife vanessa has good progression through the photo set but then the ending sequence you have 6 quick fire edges to the same picture. The image is a good one but it would help if it changed for each edge

If it could maybe have a bit more progression even if it's only slightly different pictures instead of edge 5 times to this picture then that would be better

I haven't got through the whole story yet but so far i've liked the plot twists - will maybe start from day 3 this time and see if i can get from there to the end. Personally not really into ruining but having it as a punishment for failure generally in the tease makes it interesting - perhaps a ruin button throughout with a punishment route for failure?

The text seemed generally fine - there may have been some spelling/grammar issues but so far nothing that meant i couldn't follow/understand it

Hope that helps, will try and go through a bit more and looking forward to your future teases

Thats some good ass feednack my man, will absolutely take this into account on the next one.
Hope you like the rest of the tease.
thanks for playing

[MrNadra]

I completed Day 1 and 2 yesterday and days 3 and 4 just now. It's a great tease. My cock was so hard and my balls are so full now. The story line is awesome and the amount of edging and edge holds is very challenging. The women are so hot. Some of the slides I think stay on a little too long and yes, as mentioned, a change of the picture during multiple edges would enhance the experience. Possibly some nipple torture would add to the fun.
That said, I think this is overall an awesome tease and I can't wait to continue.

thanks for playing, the next one is coming along well already.

[edgelovin]

I’m always on the look out for teases with lots of edging so this is great! I enjoy the storyline and models as well.

You could add more variety to the edging by demanding additional, various techniques be used. For example very slow, torturous strokes, very light strokes, one or two fingers, frenulum only, ball teasing/squeezing, featherlight stroking etc. It changes things up from just edge or edge ride, and those other techniques also makes things more intense.

Overall great so far though, hope to see more teases from you along these lines!

P.S. Personally I like that it doesn’t include forced ruining (or CBT), I definitely like the prolonged edging and denial focus and forced ruining can diminish the build up and desperation. Adding a chastity requirement (perhaps an optional setting) in between sessions/days would also of course go hand in hand with the prolonged denial.

[Chico]

Personally, I would have liked a slower start with more stroking to build up to the first edge.
Having said that, I'm not very far through the first day yet, but I'm looking forward to what seems to be a great tease.
Thanks,
Chico

[MrNadra]

Personally, I would have liked a slower start with more stroking to build up to the first edge.
Having said that, I'm not very far through the first day yet, but I'm looking forward to what seems to be a great tease.
Thanks,
Chico

Oh Ill try to work in some more build up.
But the second one starts off heavy as hell.
Thanks for giving it a shot.

[MrNadra]

With all that said tho,
is it possible to change some things on an already released tease?
if so i'll adress some of the problems voiced here.

[giannitrib]

I managed to do days 3 to 7 in one day and the rest of the story line was just as good as the first 5 days
So definitely enjoyed that - i was wondering if there was perhaps some scope for adding a bit of variety to allow for alternative endings depending on your choices. But that is probably too complicated and without saving progress probably wouldnt work, but maybe would be simpler if just for day 7.
Anyway, wanted to give an update on that
I would also add that a slower start to day 1 would be good, but knowing what it's like it still works as it is

And while i haven't published any teases myself, i believe you can edit an already published tease - am sure i remember releases where there have been bugs and the author has just fixed them in eos without needing to take it down and republish

[MrNadra]

I managed to do days 3 to 7 in one day and the rest of the story line was just as good as the first 5 days
So definitely enjoyed that - i was wondering if there was perhaps some scope for adding a bit of variety to allow for alternative endings depending on your choices. But that is probably too complicated and without saving progress probably wouldnt work, but maybe would be simpler if just for day 7.
Anyway, wanted to give an update on that
I would also add that a slower start to day 1 would be good, but knowing what it's like it still works as it is

And while i haven't published any teases myself, i believe you can edit an already published tease - am sure i remember releases where there have been bugs and the author has just fixed them in eos without needing to take it down and republish

Alright added more pics to the ladder
I'll see what i can do on the multiple endings front, as stated im really new to the editor.
I'll give it my best shot tho.
hanks for the input.
I'm coming up on day 6 now on the second one, any ideas for 2 diverging endings?
Ruining is off the table, but is already included on failure anyways.

[danlj]

Other ending suggestion girl from second half of day two comes back after researching she's crazy kinky now in a side room ties you to a chair makes you edge and stroke to a metronome right after edging and if you fail she overstims you with postorgasm palming but if you make it through you get regular orgasm countdown

[chual99]

Other ending suggestion girl from second half of day two comes back after researching she's crazy kinky now in a side room ties you to a chair makes you edge and stroke to a metronome right after edging and if you fail she overstims you with postorgasm palming but if you make it through you get regular orgasm countdown

Periods are useful for helping people to understand you.

[kksavas]

that was a lot of edging ^^
played it in one session good work!

Please :D
-more and longer edge holding
-more edging games
-more edging @ all