Excited by the notion, I started documenting my journey over the next few days. But then, another idea emerged, what if Mistress Lexi commanded me to write a daily journal about her dominance and instructed me to share it with the world.
The moment I received this assignment, a wave of arousal washed over me. The prospect of sharing my submissive experiences with others thrilled me to the core. And so, here we are, embarking on this journaling adventure together.
Please keep in mind that this journal may reveal significant aspects and surprises. If you haven't had the chance to experience the teases yet, I would recommend playing them first to fully immerse yourself in the innocent and submissive journey they offer.
As this post is a continuation of my journal, please refer to the previous days for context and details here:
My journal of Chastity Series (Day 1 - Day 30)
Day 37 is the end of the Chastity series episode 3. I had a sneak peek at episode 4 and realized that the story continues after a break of six months. Starting the next episode right now might not be the best idea, so I think it's wise for me to take a rest for a little while. I really need this break, especially since following the Goddess's orders has been quite demanding for me.
Therefore, I've made the decision to pause my play here. I'm not sure when exactly I'll resume, maybe in a month or even longer, but I will continue the series and this journal when the time feels right.
Day 31
- Spoiler: show
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I've memorized all ten of the Goddess's rules now because I know she may test me with them, just like Mistress Lexi did. I may not be very clever, but I always try to learn from my mistakes. I make sure to review the rules at least once a day so that the Goddess won't be able to punish me for forgetting any of them.
Yes, I try to prepare myself for what might happen. Even though I can't physically do anything, I can still prepare my mind for the upcoming challenges. It usually hurts less when you already know what to expect. Remember when Xiu surprised me with a knock to the balls? It was unexpected, and it hurt more because of that.
I'm starting to think about what the Goddess will do to me next. I want to get to know her better. I understand that I still have to obey her orders, but if I already have an idea of what she has planned for me, I can at least prepare myself mentally. It's like I'm still engaged in a battle with the Goddess, just like Mistress Lexi was. I like this thought.
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When I entered the house, Mistress Penny commanded me to kneel, and she looked incredibly sexy and dominant. I immediately dropped to my knees. As I gazed up at her from my kneeling position, I felt an even deeper sense of submission than before. Mistress Penny ordered me to lick her boots, knowing well that I couldn't resist her, and I obediently started licking them.
Next, Mistress Penny told me to strip naked. She threw me a pillow to kneel on, which was a kind gesture, but I later realized it was because she wanted me to kneel for the entire session.
I had mentally prepared myself for the pain, but Mistress Penny surprised me by not only getting excited by causing me pain but also by inflicting pain on herself. And to my surprise, she allowed me to unlock my cage! I hadn't expected that at all. When I could finally stroke my frustrated cock, it felt incredible. As I edged, tears actually welled up in my eyes.
She commanded me to hit my face, buttocks, penis, and balls, and also tied up my balls.
Then came the moment when I had to apply toothpaste to my cock head and balls. It initially felt cold, but after a minute, it started to burn. The pain was intense and seemed to originate from within. Mistress Penny forced me to stroke my burning cock, and it was a sensation I hadn't experienced before—a mix of pain and pleasure. When she commanded me to edge at that moment, I nearly went over the edge. It felt unbelievably good.
Mistress Penny continued to torture my burning cock by forcing me to edge repeatedly and hold the edges. Finally, she allowed me to stroke however I wanted, but I wasn't allowed to stop my hand and I was not allow to edge, for two minutes. It was incredibly challenging, but at the same time, it felt so good. Eventually, she let me wash my cock and balls, but the burning sensation persisted throughout the entire session.
Then, Mistress Penny made me put 20 clothespegs on my body. I had mentally prepared myself for this, but it was no use—the pain was just too much! And to make matters worse, she forced me to stroke with one hand while flicking a clothespeg with the other hand, spending 10 seconds on each peg, and took it off, until no more peg on my body. I started crying as I reached the last few clothespegs.
Lastly, I had to use a ruler to hit my balls with each stroke. It made me forget the joy of stroking, as all I could focus on was the throbbing ache in my balls.
Finally, Mistress Penny released me from all the pain. It had been an intense session, and I was left exhausted and covered in sweat, even with some droplets on the floor. I had always thought I didn't like pain because it hurt in the moment, but strangely, when it was all over, I felt a sense of contentment.
For the next session, I chose Miss Hailey because I thought I would be able to handle the edging. My plan was to save the easiest session for last. But now, with the overwhelming horniness and frustration I'm experiencing, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it any more. During today's session, when I had the chance to touch myself, my hand was almost uncontrollable. Perhaps I've made a big mistake. Regardless, I will see Miss Hailey in two days, and I have to bring the nipple clamps and gag as instructed.
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I'm feeling worried about tomorrow's session with Miss Hailey. Mistress Penny said she might hold my edges for hours, and I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it and might end up ruining it. Maybe Mistress Penny exaggerated, but I honestly don't know how many more edges I can bear after all the teasing from Goddess and the Mistresses.
It's like Goddess planned everything, selecting those four Mistresses to make me so horny and frustrated. I had a hard time sleeping last night as my caged cock kept getting aroused. And I am leaking precum now, just from thinking about the edges.
I already have an idea of what will happen in the session with Goddess. She'll make me edge over and over again and tempt me with the chance to cum if I do something I'd usually resist. Even though I'm aware of her plan, I'm afraid that during the session, when she forces me to hold the edge, my mind will go blank, and I'll do anything she says just to have an orgasm.
Goddess seems to have won already. She knows people like me, weak and submissive. She knows how to control our minds and play with us. Though I know her strategy, I still can't do anything to fight back. However, if I can keep my rebellious thoughts just like now, maybe I can prevent her from having a complete victory.
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Miss Hailey didn't know it was me she would be teasing, but she seemed excited when she found out. I couldn't help but worry about whether I would be able to handle all the edging today.
Miss Hailey shared that being Goddess's slave wasn't so bad, and she actually enjoyed it. She also told me about Mistress Lexi, who took Miss Hailey's place as a denial slave. It meant that Mistress Lexi couldn't orgasm for a long time while Miss Hailey had the freedom to cum whenever she pleased while dominating me.
Miss Hailey allowed me to unlock my cage and started to force me to edge repeatedly. She mentioned that she used to hate edging before, but after being commanded by Goddess to experience denial, she grew to love it. It made me reflect on the idea.
While I was holding the edge, Miss Hailey went inside to change. I had the option to stop edging and go inside to meet her, but the catch was that I had to enter only after she finished changing but also not keep her waiting. The time-counting practice from Mistress Riley helped a bit, but I still went inside too early twice and too late the third time. As a punishment, I had to spank my balls, ass cheeks, and face.
Miss Hailey then ordered me to gag myself and put on nipple clamps. The gag had a stronger effect on me this time. It not only caused excessive saliva but also prevented me from speaking properly, making me produce silly sounds. The gag intensified the feeling of being a submissive slut.
Miss Hailey wanted to make me cum secretly, but I cannot. Goddess's rule number one: I will never cum without the Goddess's permission, only hers. Although Miss Hailey promised not to tell, I couldn't take the risk. Perhaps it was another trap set by the Goddess. Even though I desired to orgasm in that moment, I had to be cautious. I felt proud of myself for making that decision.
While edging, Miss Hailey asked me several quiz questions. It was challenging for me to concentrate as I usually struggle to think straight while edging. One of the questions was about my favorite domme. I almost answered Goddess Brooke as it seemed like the answer Miss Hailey and Goddess wanted to hear. But I couldn't step back for this question. My heart led me to answer "Mistress Lexi," who truly holds a special place in my heart.
Miss Hailey's naked body was alluring to me. She had a cute charm, with a hint of baby fat and a girl-next-door face. Each time I saw her naked body, it made me even hornier. During today's session, I came dangerously close to going over the edge two or three times because of her. However, I managed to get through it in the end.
After the tease, Miss Hailey gave me a second secret number, which was 0. I wasn't sure of its significance, but it seemed important.
Tomorrow, I would be seeing Goddess again, and I was already feeling nervous about it.
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When I saw Goddess, she commanded me to kneel while being completely naked. She already knew about my sessions with the other four Mistresses and how frustrating they made me. She asked if I wanted to unlock my cock, of course I want to. But in her eyes, I was just a lifeless object meant to be used by her. So she didn't care about my desires. She allowed me to unlock myself just because she wanted to, and as I got hard, she forced me to lock it back in the cage immediately. I couldn't believe she did that to me. It hurt both physically and mentally. Then, she let me unlock and get hard again. I hoped she wouldn't make me lock my cock back up once more. Goddess made it clear that I was merely a source of amusement for her, and I had to do anything to make her happy.
Fortunately, this time she allowed me to remain unlocked. I thanked Goddess out loud, and I truly meant it. She commanded me to stroke and edge multiple times. In a split second, I saw Goddess transform into a seductive image, ordering me to edge. But it quickly faded away. Wait, was I imagining things?
When Goddess noticed my confused expression, she chuckled and explained that she had that effect on her slaves. That image in my mind was her power at play. I recalled having similar images during sessions with the other four Mistresses, but they passed by too quickly for me to think about them.
Goddess stated that she would use her power to completely dominate me, but it would take time. I began to understand why Mistress Lexi and others became her slaves. Suddenly, I saw her sexy image ordering me to edge again, and I followed obediently. Goddess hadn't given me permission to touch my cock, but her image commanded me to do so. I found myself helplessly obeying and disobeying her simultaneously. She seemed pleased to see me confused and punished me for the disobedient part.
Out of the blue, Goddess announced that she would allow me to see her breasts. This piqued my interest because she had mentioned before that only her best slaves were granted that privilege. But as I focused on her chest, anticipating her corset coming off, all I saw were censored breasts. How was that possible?
It turned out to be another display of Goddess's power over her slaves. At that moment, she wore only underwear, and I could see her entire body except for the censored breasts. Nevertheless, her body was flawless with soft skin, and it brought me dangerously close to orgasm.
She revealed that she had the ability to cover not only her own breasts but all breasts in the world from my sight, and it would be a severe punishment for me. I used to wonder why Mistress Lexi and other slaves followed such a mean Goddess. Perhaps one of the significant reasons was her power to control people. Resisting such power was truly challenging. Now, Goddess was using her power to punish Mistress Lexi by denying her the ability to see many things. I couldn't believe it—Mistress Lexi's situation was worse than I had imagined.
Goddess asked me to think of any reason why she should ever allow me to cum while I was holding the edge. I tried to focus and come up with something, but I couldn't. I couldn't hold the edge any longer, so I replied to her that there was no reason. She was so evil.
Goddess mentioned that she might deny me for the rest of my life. Previously, I didn't believe she could do that. I thought I would find a way to escape her given enough time. But now I understood her powers. If she wanted to, she could genuinely deny me forever. I felt utterly helpless. This was the first time I experienced such powerlessness in front of the Goddess. I still tried to resist her in my mind, but in that moment, I genuinely contemplated surrendering entirely. She was far more powerful than I had ever imagined.
Goddess offered me only the possibility of being allowed to cum. She knew that was enough to make me follow her and depend on her. Occasionally, she might permit me to orgasm, but it was just another lure to make me rely on her more. Now, I didn't need to guess—Goddess had revealed her plan for me. And it was a plan I couldn't stop.
Goddess proved her point by asking me if I wanted to cum immediately. For a moment, I entertained the thought that she might allow it at that very moment. And of course, I answered that I wanted to cum. But naturally, she wouldn't let me cum today. She used that desire for orgasm to control me, reminding me that from now on, she always came first.
Lastly, Goddess informed me that she would develop my ability to dominate. All her slaves should be able to both dominate and be submissive. She had arranged a session for me the following day, where I would dominate one of her slaves. During the session, I could stroke and edge myself, but I couldn't orgasm. Goddess wanted me to make the slave suffer, forcing her to hurt herself and administering punishment. If I failed to sufficiently punish her, Goddess would know, and I would face the exact punishment myself. So I must work hard and do my best.
I truly didn't know if I could dominate other people. I didn't enjoy hurting others or making them do things they didn't like. I didn't know how to command others or what to do in such a situation. But I had to do well, or else I would face punishment. Additionally, a terrible thought crossed my mind—what if that slave turned out to be Mistress Lexi? It seemed like something Goddess would do. How could I possibly hurt Mistress Lexi? But if I didn't follow through, who knows what punishment Goddess would inflict upon me. I hoped it wouldn't be Mistress Lexi. Please, let it not be her. But deep down, I still wanted to see Mistress Lexi, under different circumstances, just to check if she was okay.
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When I arrived at the house today, I saw a girl I had never met before. I felt relieved that it wasn't Mistress Lexi. But no, she wasn't the one. She was just there to unlock me and directed me to another room where I found Xiu. I thought it would be fun to dominate her, but again, she told me to go downstairs. I had a bad feeling about what she said.
And there she was, Mistress Lexi. The worst possible situation. She was naked, bound, and gagged, and seeing me surprised her. I felt sorry for her and was unsure of what to do. But then, an image of Goddess flashed in my mind, ordering me to dominate Lexi. I had no choice but to dominate my former Mistress.
I told Lexi that I was sent by Goddess to dominate her. She paused for a moment and slowly nodded. While I didn't need her permission, it was better that she agreed. I untied her and removed her gag. She suggested that we both play our parts, as it was the best we could do in that moment. She encouraged me, saying that this power reversal could be fun to try.
It felt strange to hear Lexi address me as "Master," but I quickly got used to it. I had her play with her nipples and touch herself. At first, I thought it might be inappropriate to play with my own cock in that situation. However, seeing Lexi pleasure herself, I couldn't resist the urge to do the same. I even ordered her to watch me masturbate. As I commanded her to hold the edge, I held mine too. It felt good for both of us to experience the pleasure of edging together. I felt even better knowing that I was the one in control of when we would stop.
Lexi then dressed up in pretty lingerie with white stockings and high heels. I couldn't help but masturbate and edge for her. I continued to dominate her a little longer, and then I heard Goddess say that we were done. Lexi would then be taken over by another slave of Goddess. Did that mean she had been used and played with all day, every day since her rebellion? I couldn't even begin to imagine what that must have been like. Before Lexi left, she apologized to me. No, if anyone needed to apologize, it should be me.
The girl outside was waiting for me and locked me back up once she saw me. She informed me that Goddess wanted to see me early the next day.
I felt completely different after dominating Lexi. Having her obey my every command, calling me Master, and being in control of when she could stroke, edge, or even cum—it felt amazing. I no longer felt like she was my Mistress. Yes, I still cared about her, but not in the same way as her slave.
Lexi, as my Mistress, was the only thing that gave me the courage to resist Goddess. But now, that was gone. I didn't have a reason to resist Goddess anymore. I thought about it a lot last night. Goddess was too powerful. She could get inside my head, she understands me and manipulates me. It was all too much for me to handle. And I am a weak man, easily influenced. Plus, I saw the consequences of rebelling against Goddess, and I knew I couldn't bear such punishment as Lexi did.
I have decided to give up any resistance to Goddess. I will simply follow her orders, smile, and embrace it. Just like the other slaves of Goddess. It feels good for me this way, it always does. I should just be true to who I am.
I am the Goddess's property.
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Before I went to Goddess's house today, I had already made up my mind to submit to her completely, both physically and mentally.
When I met Goddess, she told me that yesterday was a test. In that session, my cock was unlocked and I was made to dominate Lexi. I could have left if I truly didn't want to do it. At least my cock would have been free if I walked away. But instead, I stayed and did what Goddess expected from me.
I hadn't realized it at the time, but Goddess was right. There was a chance for me to escape then. But I didn't even consider that possibility. Now, both Goddess and I know that I am under her spell.
Goddess unlocked me and said that she was going to give me a ruined orgasm today. In the past, I might have complained in my mind, but not today. I fully accepted my fate in Goddess's hands. I felt a sense of freedom at that moment when I embraced it.
Goddess showed me her pixelated breasts, and just looking at them made my cock hard, without even touching. I couldn't believe how easily my cock could be conditioned. Goddess opened her legs, revealing her pussy. But it too was censored. Yet, it still aroused me. Is it another one of Goddess's powers? Or is it simply because of her beauty?
Goddess made me go from soft to hard and back many times. She then let me see her uncensored ass, which was perfect. But after that, she ordered me to lock my cage. Despite that, my cage kept growing every time I saw her censored breasts and pussy.
Goddess commanded me to put on nipple clamps, and she added one more clamp on my tongue, it acted like a gag, but it hurt a lot. She unlocked my cage and continued to play with my cock. She allowed me to worship her ass for five edges, but I did 10. Goddess praised me for it, and I felt proud.
Goddess continued to order me to edge and hold back many times. My breathing grew faster and faster, knowing that I would soon explode. My final task was to write down all of Goddess's rules on a piece of paper. Thankfully, I had prepared for it and managed to write down all 10 rules without any issues.
Finally, Goddess allowed me to ruin my orgasm. It was just a ruined orgasm, but it still felt good. So much cum for me, even though it was unsatisfying. And Goddess forced me to eat all of my cum. Her slaves always eat their own cum.
Today's session was so intense that I felt exhausted and could barely stand after the ruined orgasm. It wasn't completely satisfying, but I still felt content. I think it's because I have fully accepted what Goddess does to me now. I feel good when I see Goddess happy.