There are of course some people who truly have no limits - at least until they begin to play. As someone pointed out to me recently, a sub who said he had no limits, was tied to a bed and then saw a scalpel taken out would probably learn some safewords very quickly!kinkyken wrote:Truth 3
B) But not for the reasons of lack of trust!
In my humble opinion option (A) is quite simply a ludicrous choice. Even the best dominants with which you share a long history and mutual understanding cannot read minds. Consider this: my reaction to pain can vary considerably depending on physical, mental and environmental conditions and while a good dominant may be able to sense this, how can this be guaranteed. And what for example, about sex. In my country, consent can be withdrawn at any time for any reason. How would a dominant be sure when they hear a “no”?
I know you are more of a sensual dominant, MistressD – so my answer perhaps isn’t so important were I with you. But, I think it’s an important principle. That’s why I always play with safewords – but I certainly make every effort to try not to use them and to be pushed to the point of my limits!
The trust, I would argue, is actually introduced by option (B) as the submissive is then placing their explicit trust in the dominant to cease when a safe word is uttered.
I simply can’t see an alternative to palying in a “safe, sane and consensual” manner. Without this, a submissive is not submissive – merely a slave with no say in his or her destiny… I know this is not a word you like Mistress D and I tend to agree with you.
It’s sort of akin to a sub saying: “I have no limits” - ridiculous.
I had intended the question in more of a fantasy context - obviously I'm not going to have a one-on-one session with everyone who responds. I think people who know me or have read about me are likely to understand that I put the sub's experience ahead of mine typically when I play (experience - not the same as pleasure mind you). So the question was more about how willing you would be to put yourself under my direct control, knowing that I have been called Mistress Devious in the past and that a psychologist is likely to be able to play some fairly strong mind games.
If you notice, my husband picked "A" but then commented that we would never actually play without safewords. So he either was trying to cheat (in which case he's in trouble) or he recognized the fantasy vs. reality aspect of my question (I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that's what he meant).
Nice answers so far everyone! Don't chicken out Indy - it's not like anyone would ever use your answers against you!
Mistress D
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