Handling porn and girlfriends/wives/boyfriends/husbands

[wonderbo]

My wife found my porn for the first time before we were married. Back then it was just naked pictures, nothing really deviant. She was extremely upset and outraged. I promised not to do it again and she still married me. Since then I've tried to keep it hidden, not always successfully.

If anyone else I know ever found out I would probably get a new job and move.

After your wife found porn, before marriage, did you decide to quite porn or decided to hide it better ?

Good question! My first reaction was to give up the porn. Part of me wanted to anyway because of my religious upbringing. I made a real effort to pursue my religion more enthusiastically and I believed it would make things better. Of course, my wife didn't really get over the shock of it very quickly...which brought a weird uncomfortableness into the bedroom...so sex hasn't been the same since.

It wasn't long before I was very sexually frustrated. I found myself reasoning with myself that phone sex wasn't the same thing as looking at porn, especially if I didn't actually have an orgasm while in the phone session. This is when I first discovered edging, though I didn't know what to call it at the time. I'd call some cheap phone sex line and play with myself until I couldn't stand it anymore, then hang up without cumming! I'm not sure what the girls thought about this...since I wasn't calling a Dom...just a vanilla phone sex line.

Anyway, that was a pretty good rush...but eventually I figured there really wasn't much difference between phone sex and online porn, except that phone sex was pretty expensive...so I started looking at porn again and tried to hide it better.

Does anyone have a similar story to this?

[neloangelo1227]

Disclaimer: The following post is only my opinion. I am not judging anyone else's choices or lives. I believe everyone has the right to choose their own lifestyle. I also believe that I have the right to have an opinion about it. If a mod wants to ban me or delete this post becaus e it's too controversial, I would be disappointed, but I understand.

I think that the religious connection between sexuality and morality, and the subsequent perception that porn is "bad" and viewing it is harmful or shameful, create negative emotions in our culture with no corresponding positive influence. I think that the faster we learn to accept and embrace our sexuality, the faster we'll get over a huge morass of unnecessary shame and misery, much of which is being shown in this thread.

People are horny, sexual creatures. If you look at porn and jerk off and it doesn't get in the way of the rest of your life, there is absolutely NO good reason to feel ashamed of it in any way. "Trying to quit porn" is like trying to quit laughing. You can, but why would you bother? It's just a natural part of being human.