In the meantime...

[slave9898]

Hi everyone,
I have denied my self for almost two weeks now (a very long time for me)
Should i be allowed to cum?

slave9898

[Makarov]

Well, after several months I've eventually fallen back onto my non-denial habit, so I'm ressurecting this thread to see if anyone else has any other ideas for denial games. I would try the card game thing, I just have to find a pack of cards around my house. In the meantime, I'll copy and paste the first post as a memory refresher as to what this thread was actually about.

While going through Princess Raquel's "Watch Me, Watch You" tease, it reminded me that I would be a happy man if I had a special domme in my life. That said, I'm already too dumb to get into a vanilla relationship, let alone find a girl in Chicago that also likes to tease, and I'm not exactly in the best living conditions for it. I doubt many domme's are looking for broke college students who live with their parents.

That said, I was thinking of spacing out my orgasms. A friend online suggests every three days, but that almost seems too easy and scheduled. Dice rolls seem more practical, I'd just end up having to pick a percentage or a dice roll. The problem with that is I don't really want to have a very unlucky streak that leads me to losing for far too long.

Any suggestions?

[Marke]

Try Mistress Ashton on Orgasmdenial.com

I don't know what the percentage chance is, but it does happen.

It's a great bit of programming.

[Jaberwocky]

The "ask Ashton" and the "Ashton tease" at orgasmdenial are great!
It's a pitty I have to wait for the next day to see the next clip of her telling me I'm denied (or allowed).


As for a card game....

No orgasms for two days, and than pull out a card out of the deck each day. (don't put the card back)

When you (finally) pull out the card "Queen of Hearts", you get to cum. Also place back all the cards (prehaps with an aditional card), and start again. Limited, but you don't know when. (unless you are left with just one closed card)

You can adjust the amount of cumming and denail cards to your taste. Or add tasks to fullfill to other cards in the deck. I happen to have a deck of cards with women wearing nice black lingerie, came along with a birthday present. Something like that could add to the experience as well.

[Carlcjjohnson]

Whoa, the Mistress Ashton thing was great - just discovered it!

I've never been one who can really restrain himself, but with such a direct tease, I've actually put my cock back in my pants! It may or may not last

I know what you mean Makarov. I mean, I WANT to explore the teasing and denying side of my sexuality, but for me, drawing cards and whatnot just isn't good enough.
All in all, that side of my sexuality is being neglected. It seems that if I'm the one who has the power to say 'No', then I also have the power to say 'Hell yeah!' - and that usually wins, even though I want to be denied!

I'm frustrated, and not in a good way. Threads like this help though

[Lindsey]

Whoa, the Mistress Ashton thing was great - just discovered it!

I've never been one who can really restrain himself, but with such a direct tease, I've actually put my cock back in my pants! It may or may not last

I know what you mean Makarov. I mean, I WANT to explore the teasing and denying side of my sexuality, but for me, drawing cards and whatnot just isn't good enough.
All in all, that side of my sexuality is being neglected. It seems that if I'm the one who has the power to say 'No', then I also have the power to say 'Hell yeah!' - and that usually wins, even though I want to be denied!

I'm frustrated, and not in a good way. Threads like this help though

You want to be in a dynamic situation with a girl...where the outcome isn't predictable, and you have the added turn on of knowing she enjoys putting you through the torment. ;)

Are you seeing anyone? Chat with anyone online? There are little things you can do when you're with a girl to lead her to into the sort of games you want her to play. A subtle comment like, "It feels so good when you put me back inside you after pulling yourself off me for a moment". Or, "If you're not in the mood one night, it makes me want you so much worse...and I want you so bad the next day". Plant the seed in her head. I know I love exploring through a guy's desires when he lets out little bits like that. It makes me start guessing about what else he wants that he hasn't mentioned. It's a natural reaction for anyone that wants to make you feel good.

I think you should wait until you're in a situation with a girl to really explore that side of yourself. The irony being that waiting won't stop you from thinking about it...at all. ;)

-L

[Carlcjjohnson]

Ah I dunno Lindsey, the odds of me finding a girl who'd take care of the T&D side of things in life seem pretty slim to me. There's also a slight lack of courage on my part (hey, I'm a sub!!) in trying to encourage a girl face-to-face to get kinky, especially when it seems that, at face value, it's probably not her thing. That could just make matters worse.
I've been a member here for a while, but have only ever enjoyed the webteases and written a TOTM myself, but it's still always me in control - me on my own, at my own will and discretion.

I've come to realise that finding external T&D (that being under the will of another) is hard, almost impossible

[Makarov]

"There's also a slight lack of courage on my part (hey, I'm a sub!!)"

I always get a little curious when someone decides to permanently affix a certain emotion to govern a specific role. Now it's true that for every subgenre of culture there is going to be a shared experience amongst the majority. Goths will wear black. Submissive males, with a fetish for teasing and denial, will have some degree of sore balls. Dominant women will at some point in their life consider wearing latex.

That said, I don't believe that these constants should be used as an excuse, as being part of the role. Such as, the goth kid might say, "I wear black because I'm a goth kid!" This is a nice, pretty, simple answer that doesn't in fact truly answer the question. The correct answer could be because his friends are goth kids and he wants to conform, etc., etc. However, claiming to do something because you've taken the label of a certain role is an underhanded slip away from actually having to think about and provide a deeper answer to the question.

So, when someone says they lack courage in regards to relationships because they're a sub, I question that. The reason why I question that is because lots of people don't have courage in regards to relationships. If relationships were easy, then there wouldn't be any dating comedy's. But, as it turns out, relationships aren't easy.

But, for shits and giggles, let's set up a relationship that successfully leads to teasing and denial, beginning with you asking her out on the first date.

From here everything slowly begins to break down. Either you're asking a kinky girl, or a non-kinky girl. Once a member of the Jehova's Witnesses finishes going door to door, she's probably not going to come back home to give your balls a tickle. Ultimately, it's up to you to find out exactly how kinky she is, and how important you think that is for your relationship. Since we want a relationship that ends up with teasing and denial, will cross out the non-kinks and stick with the kinks.

From here there's asking her out on the first date. Your first bit of courage per say. This won't be easy, and I guarantee you, it won't get easier. Unless of course you're Rayne from the comic, "Least I Can Do," and can count the number of women you've slept with up to the hundreds. I'm going to assume you're a normal guy.

So you ask her out, dates lead to more dates and eventually things start getting physical. It's at this point you should be taking notice of what she likes from sex, because ultimately she's probably doing the same thing with you. It's at this point that you can try to insert elements of teasing and denial, all beginning with a simple idea of extended foreplay. A lot of touching, a lot of rubbing, just try not to lose it when you finally get to the sex.

That said, I still haven't even talked about the most important thing you have to be able to do if you want to insert any sort of fetish into your relationship. You and your significant other, girlfriend, flatmate, friend with privileges...you have to be able to talk to her about sex. If you're not comfortable talking to her about sex, and if she's not comfortable talking to you about sex, then actual control will most likely never surface.
*****
The Citizens Representing All of Makarov would like to inform any readers that Makarov has no expertise on anything, and could very well be a horrible super villain out to encourage couples into embarissing conversations.

[Lindsey]

Ah I dunno Lindsey, the odds of me finding a girl who'd take care of the T&D side of things in life seem pretty slim to me. There's also a slight lack of courage on my part (hey, I'm a sub!!) in trying to encourage a girl face-to-face to get kinky, especially when it seems that, at face value, it's probably not her thing. That could just make matters worse.
I've been a member here for a while, but have only ever enjoyed the webteases and written a TOTM myself, but it's still always me in control - me on my own, at my own will and discretion.

I've come to realize that finding external T&D (that being under the will of another) is hard, almost impossible

I'll let you in on a little secret. ;)

Every girl likes the idea of teasing a guy. And not just girls. I'd go so far as to say that everyone has the capacity to see the allure in it. They may just need some help getting there. Do you know anyone that doesn't like to feel desired sexually? That's exactly what teasing is, among other things.

Also, It's a natural reaction for people to do things to their partner that they would want to have done to them. For instance, submissives make the best dominants simply because they've fantasized about being dominated so much that they know exactly what's so alluring about it. There's a duality to everything. I don't believe that anyone is truly only submissive, or only dominant...only likes to be teased or only likes to do the teasing. You simply can't dominate/submit to someone or tease someone/be teased by someone without having an appreciation for how it's making them feel as well.

Back to our point about people wanting to feel desired sexually...What better way is there to make someone want you than to tease them and fill their head and body up with desire until they want you so bad they can't even think straight? People want what they can't have, but is realistically just out of reach. Knowing you will get something, but not knowing when brings up very powerful emotions.

With any girl you meet, all you have to do is find the trigger that makes her realize what she should be doing to make you want her. That may very well be doing the opposite of what you want at first, to let her experience it and realize the allure of having that done to her. From there, it's just one more step to her realizing that she's learned a very nice way to put you under her spell. FWIW, I may come off as very aggressive. But if you only knew half the things that i'd want done to me while in a submissive position...

Make no mistake about it, sex is 99% mental. Don't ever typecast someone (or yourself) into a given sexual role. Everyone has boundaries, but very few of us ever realize that there are usually no concrete reasons behind those boundaries and that the right situation can change them, immediately.

-L

[Carlcjjohnson]

This is all very serious advice, thanks everyone!
Perhaps I'll go about looking for someone to tease me, be they online or closer to home, but I'll keep what you've said in mind.

I think I'll start with looking for IM fun first, to get a feel of things . . .

Incidentally, I've just had a great idea for a webtease. I wanna top my last one so watch this space!

[Makarov]

"Every girl likes the idea of teasing a guy. And not just girls. I'd go so far as to say that everyone has the capacity to see the allure in it. They may just need some help getting there. Do you know anyone that doesn't like to feel desired sexually? That's exactly what teasing is, among other things." - Lindsey

I would have to agree.


Oh! Yeah, I probably should put something more substantial. I wouldn't imagine the teasing would be hard to get a girl to do. One look at women's fashion and it's a little obvious that women don't mind to tease. Adding on more specific fetishes, such as denial, orgasm control, that would be trickier. Ultimately, even if you get the girl to tease you, in an ideal situation you are out to make her feel good and she's out to make you feel good. Or you're out to feel good and she's out to feel good and happen to make each other feel good, thusly killing two birds with one bullet.

That said, the most important thing would probably be to remain open sexually (because that seems to be important to you), and to date someone who is open sexually.

[Timshel]

Nice discussion...here's my two cents...

Some of things that people link to someone who is submissive I feel are often unfair and unwarented. Linking weak with submissive is one of them. I tend to think of submission in terms of serving or in some cases enduring. It is often the desire to see the other person happy by what it is that you can do for them. When people start talking about the ideas of inherant Superiority it makes me revolt. I don't look to submit to a woman because I'm weaker than her, I tend to look towards strong women because the confidence and expressed intelligence is a turn on. I suppose there is a tendancy to be the follower and often the sub is not the initiator but the one reacting so I can understand the awkwardness in initiating things. Although to sum it up, (cause I think I've been kinda birdwalking waround the subject), I tend to view giving up control as the braver of the two acts. I think it takes more courage to be tied up and at the mercy of her than it does to be the aggressor.

In a way asking a girl out is exposing your feelings for her, for her to do with what she wants.

Anyway I tend to look towards women who express both thier intelligence and are more of the touchy feely type. Then the best relationships, be them T&D or Vanilla, stem from Open comunicaion. Merely responding to her when she does tease or flirt tends to help nudge in that direction...