main post with all info
previous CP: 1069
Day 27:
12 (from baseline)
70 (7 rings of pain)
Day 28:
12 (from baseline)
30 (service task)
=== +124
current CP: 1193
Day 27-Thoughts:
- Spoiler: show
-
I knew exactly what to anticipate as soon as I saw Mistress Lilly's attire. That was a demanding day and a real test of submission
.
For each of the tasks, I prepared videos to watch alongside. Those, I believe, helped me to get into the right mindset better and enabled me not hesitate to injure myself.
1. Hairbrush task
I watched a femdom video of some caning and followed the hits while counting them out loud. When the pain started accumulating, after approximately 30 hits to my asscheeks, , I had a thought of maybe going easier on myself, but I fortunately kept the same pace and strength. Of course, the most hurt was brought on by hitting my balls; I flinched on each hit
. All of the affected body parts were sore after. I was inspired to keep going since I knew this was just the beginning 
.
2. Oral Task
Sucking a dildo was satisfying. I was doing some deepthroats before even being asked to. I like to gag and tear up while choking on some impressive cocks, I guess
? Maybe Mistress wasn't completely right in saying that this task is not about my pleasure.
3. Ice Task
For this task, I brought more than 10 ice cubes in fear of them melting before the end of the task. That wasn't necessary, as they took a looong time to melt. I don't remember when my sensitive parts were so cold.
An (un?)intended side effect of applying ice to the scrotum is that my balls wanted to retract in an attempt to warm themselves up, but my cage stopped that, so it caused minor pain. In addition, I had a tough mental decision to make:
- do I move the ice cubes around so they touch body parts that are still hot so that they melt faster,
- do I keep them in the same, already-cold spot, but for longer?
I mostly opted for the first option, as I didn't want ice cubes I wasn't using to melt. That implied, for instance, that I was circling ice cubes around my areolas, then flipping my nipples with them, and so on.
What I also really enjoyed was the touch of fingers on my nipples after the ordeal. They were so swollen and sensitive to any heat at that point
.
4. Vibrator Task
It's the second time I am using a vibe on my locked cage. The first time I came, so now my body expected the same to happen today. I got a lot better at it. Attacking the same spot I discovered before felt really very enjoyable from the beginning
.
The buildup and masturbation part with a vibrator feels really unique, maybe even more pleasurable than just jerking off. I don't even want to think about what a magic wand feels like.
But I didn't come; I don't know how far I was; I can't really tell for sure with a vibe; maybe I was 15 minutes away or maybe 15 seconds away? Still, I loved the pleasure immensely.
5. Hot Task
For this task, I did a lot of research when I saw candles on the toy list. I bought some paraffin religious (so sacrilegious of me) candles. I chose them because of their low melting point as well as because they were unscented and uncolored (both of which can lead to allergies or a higher melting point). I also set up some cold water and towels, just in case. I really didn't want to get burned, and I was scared of fire.
I lit the candle, prepared my body with baby oil, and began pouring, with trembling hands, from really high up, really scared of the first drop of hot wax. I quickly realized that it's really not that hot with all the precautions I took
. It was more pleasurable, though it might have stung a little bit occasionally when pouring from a short distance. To compensate for that, I did a lot more than 10 drops, covering a large portion of my chest and stomach in wax that I had to scrape off later.
I had a great time conquering my fear of wax play, and I'll definitely give it another go in the future
.
6. Anal task
This was really pleasant.
I used some audio from Shibby to listen along and really tried to focus on what I felt.
I still didn't come, but I just enjoyed the experience
. Sissygasm is a goal, but I should just concentrate on what makes me feel good rather than pushing myself to get there.
7. Ginger/Hotsauce Task
Upon seeing ginger on the toylist, I anticipated some figging to occur. Before the task, I even carved the ginger into a nice buttplug shape.
However, it appears that I improperly stored the ginger for the task, because, when I applied it all over my cock, the only pain I felt was when I squeezed it. By then, I'd read your stories, and something about that felt off. I therefore slightly changed the task to correct my error. I'm hoping Mistress will overlook this.
I used the ginger for figging, but I also grabbed a bottle of hot sauce and and used it as lube for a bit of stroking (not using drops of hotsauce, because it wouldn't feel safe if this really hot hotsauce with unknown ingredients got into my urethra).
Both ginger and hot sauce hit after some time. It felt good at first, but after a few strokes and about a minute, I no longer felt any pleasure from the strokes, and the pleasant feeling quickly gave way to pain
and then a lot of pain 
. My butt experienced the same thing, with every clench causing more discomfort.
I gave up after about three minutes, at which point I was unable to perform another stroke.
The burn was intense and was not getting weaker. I started breathing heavily and pushed my cock into a bowl of water prepared for waxplay. Still, it didn't help much. I've felt the pain for about 30 minutes, and for the first 10 I couldn't even move much or think about anything else. When I managed to put on the cage, it felt intense, and at the same time, I felt hopeless as I could only wait
. After those ~30 minutes, I didn't feel it anymore though, and there were no side-effects.
I had a crazy thought though: wouldn't it be nice to bring pain like this every time I jerked off without my cage on? To set off a Pavlovian response, hinder me from unlocking myself and becoming frightened of stroking my useless cock? Instead, I would associate pleasure with using a vibe or a dildo. Despite the fact I was afraid that my mind would wander there, the idea felt tempting .
Conclusion:
Even though the pain at the end of the session was terrible, I enjoyed it. I know that I could probably still do more, and I felt fulfilled after finishing. Perhaps chastity is making me terribly masochistic, or perhaps I was all along ? I also fancy the theme of the 7 rings of hell and the interweaving of pain and pleasure; it made me wonder if I experience pain or pleasure a few times.
- Spoiler: show
-
I've received 30CP for the task part. What I did was really simple: I called three women important to me for a longer chat because I felt we hadn't talked for a long time. I also bought a gift for one of them, though I still haven't given it to them, so I selected mind instead of material.
Having committed one transgression against Mistress already, today's task felt obvious. I didn't want to unlock, and I didn't want to cum before Locktober was over. Even if Mistress turned a blind eye to it, even if I didn't tell anybody, it would still torment me. I knew that I would probably feel as defeated, weak, and disappointed as I did when I failed Mistress before. It still hurts a little to relieve that experience, so I would never do it knowingly .
