Findom and webtease ethics

[CuteEboy]

In the past I've come across a few teases involving some form of findom. Everything fake/simulated, or at the very least not involving any actual transfer of money. For example, It's time to share! and some parts of Chastity 7α: Devote a month to Xia both have some findom elements. This is somewhat uncontroversial I think - there's nothing wrong with indulging in a fantasy.

Where I think it starts to get problematic, though, is when findom teases are directly telling you to pay real money to a specific person. Two examples of this from the last few months are Play with Mona~ (Both Free & Findom Tasks) and more recently Caught by the Sex-ed Teacher~. Regardless of what you think about the ethics of findom, Milovana is a community based on common interest and free contributions, and this sort of thing marks a step away from that organic state towards the commercialization of the platform. Where money has been involved, it has only been in the form of donations as a way to support people's work, like in the case of Shattereddreamer's patreon. One can imagine an alternative future, though, where Milovana serves as a place for dominants to advertise their services, similar to how many porn subreddits have been taken over in the last few years by promotion and OnlyFans spam.

I think that we should do our best to avoid that future. I propose a blanket ban on all explicit findom on the platform, defined as any tease which instructs you (directly or indirectly) to send money to someone. I also propose a ban on teases that serve primarily as advertising for some external service, such as something explicitly marked as a "preview" and containing links to other platforms.

It must be said that I'm not against sex work per se - I don't think it's inherently unethical or immoral (though I have some qualms about findom), and it certainly has its place. Just not here. This platform is something entirely different, and it should remain that way.

I'd be curious to hear thoughts and opinions from others, especially those who've been a more active part of the community on Milovana - I've been mostly a lurker for my time here.

[SubbySlut]

I hadn't come across these, but on the whole, I agree with you. I have a bit of a bugbear with findom anyway, I suspect you think the same as me, but it has it's place - and should stay there. (I can't stand the "I'm hot, fuck you, pay me" = an entire genre of domina stuff). I did find a tease ages ago that I can't remember, where you're given a pool of money and depending how much you give each girl is how much they'll do for you, and that was really good. But again, no real money.

On the other hand, and because I like a bit of devils advocate, there's enough free options on here, and so many amazing creators who do it for the love of it - We love and appreciate you all so much! - that if you're not into it, don't pay it. Maybe a tag to show it...


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Also a long time lurker here, very rare poster, but got to give love to all the creators, mods, admins, and management.

[Billerboob]

I like this idea. I have nothing against findom, but I do have an issue with paid content on a site that is meant to be free. I've seen a handful of teases in the past lock content behind paywalls, and it definitely bugged me a bit. I'd like things to stay free personally

[RandomName]

Personally I agree that pay walls have no business here. Requesting donations or commissions or the such are fine imo, but pay walls really shouldn't be allowed. I do have a question for you though. For a moment let's imagine someone really likes Findom, therefore, they want to make a tease incorporating this fetish. But for them, it doesn't give them the, for lack of a better term "Rush" they seek. Unless they actually are paying the money. So in their tease, they create the option. They give you somewhere to send funds, and the tease tells you to do so, when to do so, and of course, how much. You are able to progress through the tease whether or not you pay, but it tells you to do so. Noteably, it's not a preview or demo or the such, it is the full tease. Would you view this as problematic?

[CuteEboy]

[...] For a moment let's imagine someone really likes Findom, therefore, they want to make a tease incorporating this fetish. But for them, it doesn't give them the, for lack of a better term "Rush" they seek. Unless they actually are paying the money. So in their tease, they create the option. They give you somewhere to send funds, and the tease tells you to do so, when to do so, and of course, how much. You are able to progress through the tease whether or not you pay, but it tells you to do so. Noteably, it's not a preview or demo or the such, it is the full tease. Would you view this as problematic?

I would. It's still commercialization, even if it's optional commercialization, in a way that donations and commissions aren't. It shifts the dynamic from "I am paying you because I like the work that you do" to "I am paying you to (directly) get off."

And in my view findom - if ethical at all - necessitates a certain kind of dynamic between dominant and submissive, informed consent from both parties, and a deep level of trust, which is something you don't really get from playing through a webtease.

[kerkersklave]

The thing with findom is, it is basically always a scam, the women want money, the guys grave attention, humiliation, submission whatever and give it to them. All kinds of communities are overrun by "findoms" trying to sell their services even if explicitly asked to not do that. So it is a good thing to keep this stuff out or you will have ten new rubbish teases a day trying to sell something.

Now, there probably are very few people that are really into it and for which money has this sexual or emotional meaning, that they need that. I still have to meet one and I have met a lot of kinky people, but basically every kink exists. So if there is a really well done tease that somehow involves that fetish, I would say, that is fine.
The tease could be perfectly free to play though, just, that you are told to send someone money at certain spots, but it is up to you to do it or leave it, just as with all other actions in a tease.

One big ethical issue with Findom is of course, that it can potentially get people in an emotional dependency that they have to pay for. And while this can surely happen with other professional services, Findom tells a potential victim that it has to be that way.

[d_slave22]

Perhaps I am the odd man out here, but findom is one of my fetishes! (There are many lol!) I'll say I have conditional support for teases like Caught by the Sex-ed Teacher~: https://milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=56833. Here's my take:

First, I'll concede that there are definitely scammers in findom (to the point where getting scammed is now it's own fetish lol!) And I have certainly run into scammers in the several years I have participated in findom. But I have also formed some genuine, meaningful, respectful relationships with Dommes through findom as well. It's not always about sending money being a painful sacrifice - it can also be that you send money because you genuinely care about someone and it makes you happy to make their life better in a tangible way. Findom can be surprisingly wholesome depending on your relationship dynamic. The point here is, like most things, findom can be enjoyed responsibly or irresponsibly. I don't see anybody calling for a ban on gooning teases - even though porn addiction can be a real and harmful thing. My opinion is that content shouldn't be removed just because some will not engage with it responsibly. So, I don't have any ethical concerns with these kinds of teases personally.

Regarding the payment aspect of it and whether teases like this are considered to be paywalls and if that should be allowed on a platform like Milovana - I'd say there aren't any ethical concerns here, it's just a community decision. Obviously if we start seeing that most teases being created are findom teases, and we know the majority of the community does not want to engage with that content, so people now have to wade through a bunch of stuff they don't care about - that's an issue and I would agree would warrant restrictions simply to help better connect users with content they like. I don't see that happening, though, and so I don't see the need for restrictive action. For now, as long as those that post this kind of content are respectfully marking it as having "findom" content - and I see that they are - I would ask that they be allowed to remain. And if you're not into it, just note that the tease has findom elements and skip over it like you would any other tease that includes something that isn't your thing. Personally, if I served a Domme that made this kind of content, I would be super happy and likely do the sending the tease requested. If not, I wouldn't, but I can still enjoy the fantasy presented by such teases even without actually sending.

I think the most exciting aspect of these kinds of teases for me is the possibility of a Domme I serve creating one, or even me creating one on her behalf, that plays into some of the games of chance that be a part of findom. For example, some people create wheels to spin and you may end up sending a certain amount or doing certain tasks based on the results of the wheel spin. A tease would be a much more sophisticated way to facilitate those kinds of games of chance that could include a lot more interaction with a sub. Now your choices in the tease may affect the outcome, which would be really fun! So, because I can see a way a tool like a webtease can be used to create engaging, meaningful experiences, I don't want to prevent that from happening.

Sorry for the essay! TLDR: I support findom content as long as it doesn't become so prolific that it drowns out other content.

[GanyuSimp]

Recently, I saw quite a lot of teases with findom in it and I don't appreciate it one bit. It always starts with one or two things and if it won't be stopped soon then 90% of teases will be about it because scammers will see new opportunities to earn easy money from fools.