Preview: The Netherworld

[schefflera0101]

Hello all,
I would like to introduce you to my latest work:
The Netherworld

Or better said, a little preview. It's going to be a very long tease, so I wanted to get your opinion beforehand.

The tease will be very edge-heavy. In the preview it's not quite clear yet. But anyone who isn't shy about edging their cock to the ultimate can look forward to something.

I'm looking forward to your comments.

[zenetix]

I didn't have the time to fully run through this preview multiple times, but I liked it. Seems like it has the potential to be a pretty fun tease. My preference would be for more variety to the models (similar to Karissa's Maze which was great) because I'm not really into the aesthetic.

Spoiler: show

I think it might be fun to have the option to return to certain areas on the same day and have a slightly different tease (like Karissa's Maze), or to try to avoid certain areas and have unexpected consequences (like going to sleep early and then have several unexpected visitors visit your room).

[2OI2]

Usually, Im not commenting much, but Im very exited for your latest work.
You´re one of the few who get the pacing of teases right (for me at least).

I will definitly give you feedback

Without any expectations, are you able to tell us more about the full releasedate?
(Like Q4 this year, or more like a Q1 2022... nothing excat - no pressure! Take your time)

mfg
2oi2

[2OI2]

So.. here is my feedback.

- great models so far (I hope there is some variation like in your maze teases and not only this "fantasy" style of models)
- pacing is great - like always
- edging and especially the holding-part got intense...

Spoiler: show

I dont know how it webs into the story, but "died of a hearthattack" is kind of difficult. Im not a fan of the between-world. I would prefer that you would lost consciousness from edging to exhaustion. Imagine someone playing your tease and a close person had a hearthattack lately. Mood is gone

Spoiler: show

On the beach, the was a typo. You wrote "egen" on one slide

I'm very intrigued.

[Seraph]

Really enjoyed what you have so far and looking forward to seeing more!

I liked the set of models used; I think a lot of teases use somewhat similar images so it was nice to see something different.

Maybe a small point that could improve: I think there was more than one spot which asked for your name, it may be cleaner if after the first time it just became a button to automatically respond the same as before

[RandomName]

While I enjoyed the preview quite a bit, there were a few problems, but I'll start with the pros.

Spoiler: show

- Very little humiliation; I personally don't like humiliation so seeing so little of it, and what was there being quite light was very nice.
- Tentatively interesting premise; It was eluded that mc remembers the location, implying we've been there before. Assuming this is the plan and it's going to be revealed to be something more akin to memory loss rather than "in between life and death" I'm on board with the story
- Fairly vanilla overall; It includes edging and doesn't have an orgasm point yet, but that's fine. This is my favorite kind of teases, where you're told to jerk off and have to edge for a while before cumming.
- Overall story concept; I like it, of course, this is very bare bones and my liking it is honestly partly because I autofill in my mind where I think it should go, but ultimately, I do like it.

Negatives
- There were a handful of grammar and spelling mistakes and while not a huge deal there are times where I felt a little confused because a sentence just didn't make much sense.
- I really liked the chosen models, my main problem however was that so many scenes ended without any explicit nudity. It's not a big deal if some scenes don't have nudity, and I only ran through it once so maybe there's more nudity if you're more submissive, but there wasn't much that I saw.
- It's slow. So slow. I'm a fast reader and waiting for the tease to auto scroll is so annoying. It's a problem I have with a lot of teases either taking to long to scroll or having overly long stroke timers. It really is dissuading from even considering going through a second time when the time investment is so large to even get to the point where I make choices.

Half and half
- Tease and Denial?; I for one am not into orgasm denial, I think this tease is great, and maybe you'll have cum points in the full version, but I don't like tease and denial (I do however love tease and delay, hence I like edging). This isn't a problem with the preview, more of just something that I would view as a problem in the final version if there is no cum point.
- Ending(s); I think the way you set up the conversations introducing the demons and the interaction with that dumbo on the beach, you've set it up for the potential to turn against the "good guys". I would love a multiple routes game, maybe 1 per faction? (Ascended, demons, humans, beasts, and then like, fuck factions we going solo bois!) The story opening is very basic and open ended, which leaves lots of room for expansion, of the tease only had one route it wouldn't be BAD, but it would be GREAT having multiple.

I had more to write, but I forgot. Ultimately this preview was quite enjoyable, it's the type of tease I look for (albeit, a few problems). I for one would love to see a full version of this tease.

[Roblsforbobls]

I think your tease would benefit from having a metronome, as well as miscellaneous sound effects (knocking sound, footsteps maybe, door opening sound, birds chirping, rustling sound, wave sounds etc.). Don't be afraid to fill in the time that players spend waiting in between events or text. Bonus points for simple background music, but I know that's a bit beyond than what most people do. Having sound would suit the style and aesthetic of this tease considering it's heavy in story and imagery. Edit: I heard a door unlocking sound on beginning of day 2, very nice. I hope you add a lot more sound!

I understand why you don't allow the player to skip text during stroking - it frees up the players hands and can replace timers. Personally I would prefer being able to speed up text between stroking scenes.

From the story I am getting an "Angel Beats!" vibe - it's a short anime with a very similar premise of an amnesiac finding himself trapped in a world between life and death with other humans. I think your tease could stand to borrow a few elements from this anime, such as the protagonist being skeptical at first that he's dead and needing it to be proven to him, needing to team up with other humans to fight for a common goal, being "killed" through normal means is still possible but it's more like getting knocked out since you heal and wake up some time afterwards. Will we meet other humans, will we make friends? I think it's worth exploring why the humans in this place do the one thing they know can actually kill them. Is there a hidden purpose? Maybe everyone has been in this world for so long that they stopped caring about living or dying? Edit: after finishing the preview there was some hint at the purpose behind it. Can women also edge for the same reason? I have so many questions about where this story is headed.

I think the protagonist could use a bit more of a sense of self-preservation. He's willing to stroke and doesn't seem to care too much that it could kill him. That isn't a bad thing considering the kind of game this is and the site that we're on, but it could add a bit more realism to your story.
I like your writing style so far. The world and main characters are believable, I enjoyed the bit of humor you've added, and the stroking instructions are interesting. I also like how you chose text colors to represent the kinds of people you meet in the tease.

I generally agree with what others have said, though making it overall light on nudity isn't a deal-breaker for me. I hope the story allows for the player to cum at some point because I am also not very into denial.

A couple errors I noticed:
- Around when Xiaoding was introduced, a he/him/his pronoun was used, I'm not sure if that was intentional.
- The edging section of the beast part suddenly starts using quotes for some reason?
- Sorry I wasn't keeping track while going through the preview, but I did find some spelling/grammar errors here and there

Really looking forward to the full release!

[schefflera0101]

Hey,
First of all: Thank you for the detailed and constructive criticism. That's exactly why I created a preview.
One general thing: I don't want it to be a maze, but rather a fantasy based story with characters from the cosplay genre.
Accordingly, the randomness and number of paths decreases drastically, as each decision duplicates the number of further paths. (This can become very complicated).
Nevertheless, there are of course game-changing decisions on which the outcome will depend.

I didn't have the time to fully run through this preview multiple times, but I liked it. Seems like it has the potential to be a pretty fun tease. My preference would be for more variety to the models (similar to Karissa's Maze which was great) because I'm not really into the aesthetic.

Spoiler: show

I think it might be fun to have the option to return to certain areas on the same day and have a slightly different tease (like Karissa's Maze), or to try to avoid certain areas and have unexpected consequences (like going to sleep early and then have several unexpected visitors visit your room).

I have dozens of photo sets with models that I have used and will use. So in that regard, there will be a lot of variety. Of course, there are also characters who appear frequently, like Azami (or more later).

Usually, Im not commenting much, but Im very exited for your latest work.
You´re one of the few who get the pacing of teases right (for me at least).

I will definitly give you feedback

Without any expectations, are you able to tell us more about the full releasedate?
(Like Q4 this year, or more like a Q1 2022... nothing excat - no pressure! Take your time)

mfg
2oi2

It's hard to give a date or even a time period. At the moment I'm at chapter 14 and I don't see an end myself. The story is developing as I write it....

So.. here is my feedback.

- great models so far (I hope there is some variation like in your maze teases and not only this "fantasy" style of models)
- pacing is great - like always
- edging and especially the holding-part got intense...

Spoiler: show

I dont know how it webs into the story, but "died of a hearthattack" is kind of difficult. Im not a fan of the between-world. I would prefer that you would lost consciousness from edging to exhaustion. Imagine someone playing your tease and a close person had a hearthattack lately. Mood is gone

Spoiler: show

On the beach, the was a typo. You wrote "egen" on one slide

I'm very intrigued.

Well, like I said, it's going to be mostly fantasy cosplay style. I like it :)
Edging will be even more intense later. So it's not for beginners ;)

Spoiler: show

I understand quite well what you mean. And you are right. I will change it to an unknown reason.

Really enjoyed what you have so far and looking forward to seeing more!

I liked the set of models used; I think a lot of teases use somewhat similar images so it was nice to see something different.

Maybe a small point that could improve: I think there was more than one spot which asked for your name, it may be cleaner if after the first time it just became a button to automatically respond the same as before

The name is saved, of course, but for each character individually. So Azami knows your name now, after that she calls you by name too. Other characters don't know it yet, so they ask. You could also introduce yourself differently to each ;)

While I enjoyed the preview quite a bit, there were a few problems, but I'll start with the pros.

Spoiler: show

- Very little humiliation; I personally don't like humiliation so seeing so little of it, and what was there being quite light was very nice.
- Tentatively interesting premise; It was eluded that mc remembers the location, implying we've been there before. Assuming this is the plan and it's going to be revealed to be something more akin to memory loss rather than "in between life and death" I'm on board with the story
- Fairly vanilla overall; It includes edging and doesn't have an orgasm point yet, but that's fine. This is my favorite kind of teases, where you're told to jerk off and have to edge for a while before cumming.
- Overall story concept; I like it, of course, this is very bare bones and my liking it is honestly partly because I autofill in my mind where I think it should go, but ultimately, I do like it.

Negatives
- There were a handful of grammar and spelling mistakes and while not a huge deal there are times where I felt a little confused because a sentence just didn't make much sense.
- I really liked the chosen models, my main problem however was that so many scenes ended without any explicit nudity. It's not a big deal if some scenes don't have nudity, and I only ran through it once so maybe there's more nudity if you're more submissive, but there wasn't much that I saw.
- It's slow. So slow. I'm a fast reader and waiting for the tease to auto scroll is so annoying. It's a problem I have with a lot of teases either taking to long to scroll or having overly long stroke timers. It really is dissuading from even considering going through a second time when the time investment is so large to even get to the point where I make choices.

Half and half
- Tease and Denial?; I for one am not into orgasm denial, I think this tease is great, and maybe you'll have cum points in the full version, but I don't like tease and denial (I do however love tease and delay, hence I like edging). This isn't a problem with the preview, more of just something that I would view as a problem in the final version if there is no cum point.
- Ending(s); I think the way you set up the conversations introducing the demons and the interaction with that dumbo on the beach, you've set it up for the potential to turn against the "good guys". I would love a multiple routes game, maybe 1 per faction? (Ascended, demons, humans, beasts, and then like, fuck factions we going solo bois!) The story opening is very basic and open ended, which leaves lots of room for expansion, of the tease only had one route it wouldn't be BAD, but it would be GREAT having multiple.

I had more to write, but I forgot. Ultimately this preview was quite enjoyable, it's the type of tease I look for (albeit, a few problems). I for one would love to see a full version of this tease.

Sorry for the grammar and sentence structure. I use deepl.com to translate my texts. Most of the time the site works quite well. However, when I use very convoluted sentences in German, the AI seems to reach its limits.... :(
I do reread the English version, but as I said, as a non-native speaker, it's hard.

Spoiler: show

Oh yes, the nudity... Maybe I should have mentioned that. It's a complete non-nude tease. Maybe you can catch a glimpse of something now and then, but it will remain that way through the tease.

T&D... yes, it is indeed planned as a T&D. But I can also well understand that the (real) prospect of an orgasm increases the fun.
I think I will include the possibility to play with or without orgasm possibility in the final version. Thanks for the suggestion.

About the text being too slow, I can say that I have the setting on 'Auto' (except for stroking / edging sequences). Changing everything again now will mean a lot of work.... I'll think about that ;)

I also planned that you can take different paths. But that also means a lot of work, which is complicated by limited photo sets. It will definitely matter how you react to each race.

I think your tease would benefit from having a metronome, as well as miscellaneous sound effects (knocking sound, footsteps maybe, door opening sound, birds chirping, rustling sound, wave sounds etc.). Don't be afraid to fill in the time that players spend waiting in between events or text. Bonus points for simple background music, but I know that's a bit beyond than what most people do. Having sound would suit the style and aesthetic of this tease considering it's heavy in story and imagery. Edit: I heard a door unlocking sound on beginning of day 2, very nice. I hope you add a lot more sound!

I understand why you don't allow the player to skip text during stroking - it frees up the players hands and can replace timers. Personally I would prefer being able to speed up text between stroking scenes.

From the story I am getting an "Angel Beats!" vibe - it's a short anime with a very similar premise of an amnesiac finding himself trapped in a world between life and death with other humans. I think your tease could stand to borrow a few elements from this anime, such as the protagonist being skeptical at first that he's dead and needing it to be proven to him, needing to team up with other humans to fight for a common goal, being "killed" through normal means is still possible but it's more like getting knocked out since you heal and wake up some time afterwards. Will we meet other humans, will we make friends? I think it's worth exploring why the humans in this place do the one thing they know can actually kill them. Is there a hidden purpose? Maybe everyone has been in this world for so long that they stopped caring about living or dying? Edit: after finishing the preview there was some hint at the purpose behind it. Can women also edge for the same reason? I have so many questions about where this story is headed.

I think the protagonist could use a bit more of a sense of self-preservation. He's willing to stroke and doesn't seem to care too much that it could kill him. That isn't a bad thing considering the kind of game this is and the site that we're on, but it could add a bit more realism to your story.
I like your writing style so far. The world and main characters are believable, I enjoyed the bit of humor you've added, and the stroking instructions are interesting. I also like how you chose text colors to represent the kinds of people you meet in the tease.

I generally agree with what others have said, though making it overall light on nudity isn't a deal-breaker for me. I hope the story allows for the player to cum at some point because I am also not very into denial.

A couple errors I noticed:
- Around when Xiaoding was introduced, a he/him/his pronoun was used, I'm not sure if that was intentional.
- The edging section of the beast part suddenly starts using quotes for some reason?
- Sorry I wasn't keeping track while going through the preview, but I did find some spelling/grammar errors here and there

Really looking forward to the full release!

Sound effects are indeed planned. It's just not easy to find good free effects. If you know a good site, I would be grateful. I didn't want to include a metronome. I personally think it's better to have your own tempo and speed up/slow down on demand.
"I think the protagonist could use a bit more of a sense of self-preservation. He's willing to stroke and doesn't seem to care too much that it could kill him. That isn't a bad thing considering the kind of game this is and the site that we're on, but it could add a bit more realism to your story."
Yes, it's true that it's not really smart. But to give you the decision stroke or not.... well, that takes away the whole point.
It remains to be seen that there is a reason to do it after all.



Again, thank you so far for your feedback. Please keep it up, then I can respond well.

[Ahriman87]

Nice tease! Looking forward to see more CBT stuff with a demon

[T€ch]

Very nice tease, i like the style and the Asian girls setting, reminds me of the Curse Serie from BelleNomxxx and the Captured Serie which i liked very much.
One thing i would find good when i read you have already 14 chapters. You could add some save-codes from time to time. The variable saving is good, but some people play in incognito browser windows or clear their browser variables more often, so if it takes longer than one run to finish the tease save-codes are always good.

[Roblsforbobls]

Sound effects are indeed planned. It's just not easy to find good free effects. If you know a good site, I would be grateful.

Nice! Probably the best resource I can recommend is this one:

https://opengameart.org/ This site is a platform where video game artists, sound designers, and musicians can share their high quality work for anyone to use for free. It's meant to support open source projects that can't otherwise afford to pay for custom assets. I've found a number of songs on here for a personal project, and the variety and number of tracks is astounding.

Here is a collection of door knocking sound effects, for example: https://opengameart.org/content/12-3-kn ... oden-doors

If you are going to consider adding music to your tease, I came across a couple tracks that I think fit well :)
https://opengameart.org/content/magical-forest
https://opengameart.org/content/watch-your-steps

[indyc]

This is quite vast for a preview. I personally think your model selection is top notch compared to most posters (even if they aren't all my taste) though I can agree with some others that variety would help here.

I agree with some others that asking my name multiple times was strange. I see that you are saving it per girl but something as simple as "X said to call you Y, do you want me to call you Y? (yes)(no)" would make it feel less strange and more that the tease is "paying attention".

I am one of those that it goes a bit too slow for, especially the reading. I think part of my core problem here is that I know you are a native German speaker but the text doesn't seem to matter yet to read in depth. My biggest issue with the current version is that whenever I am presented 3 choices to respond with, they are almost all mean the same and even worse- they all do the same. They may change outcomes now or planned in the future but that was not apparent to me in 3 run throughs.

If you need help wording things send me a PM and I can try to help sometimes. For example very minor things like when you say “what does that look like to you?” in describing the hospital I would prefer "what does it look like to you".

Excited to see more

[Cxhomie]

Hey! Preview looks amazing. Is there any ETA on the full version? Absolutely loved you last two teases :)

[schefflera0101]

Nice! Probably the best resource I can recommend is this one:
...

Thanks for that. I'll have a look over it. :)

This is quite vast for a preview. I personally think your model selection is top notch compared to most posters (even if they aren't all my taste) though I can agree with some others that variety would help here.

The main theme remains, but there will be variety ( -> preview ;) )

My biggest issue with the current version is that whenever I am presented 3 choices to respond with, they are almost all mean the same and even worse- they all do the same. They may change outcomes now or planned in the future but that was not apparent to me in 3 run throughs.

That's true. Some choices just saves your answer for further actions, some are just to add an illusion of choice. There will be more variety in the final version.

Spoiler: show

For example, your reaction to the three races is stored to generate some sort of affinity. This will be used later in the tease.

If you need help wording things send me a PM and I can try to help sometimes. For example very minor things like when you say “what does that look like to you?” in describing the hospital I would prefer "what does it look like to you".

As you could have seen, it's not just one word here, one spelling there... In the beginning I really thought about leaving it in German, but I wanted to make it international.
Maybe I'll ask for help, when I translated everything I got. But it has to be completed first.

Hey! Preview looks amazing. Is there any ETA on the full version? Absolutely loved you last two teases :)

Nice to hear you liked it/them.
What's an ETA?!

[indyc]

My biggest issue with the current version is that whenever I am presented 3 choices to respond with, they are almost all mean the same and even worse- they all do the same. They may change outcomes now or planned in the future but that was not apparent to me in 3 run throughs.

That's true. Some choices just saves your answer for further actions, some are just to add an illusion of choice. There will be more variety in the final version.

Spoiler: show

For example, your reaction to the three races is stored to generate some sort of affinity. This will be used later in the tease.

See that's the thing, while illusion of choice is arguably not as good as actual choice, it would still work fine enough for now.

My problem is that in most areas I don't even have this illusion of choice. Having to choose between saying "ummm", "but I..." and "maybe" does not even give me an illusion of choice and just feels like noise that I want to skip over. I know this is not an example of your actual choices but that is how most of your choices felt to me when I try to remember them.

Spoiler: show

I will be SUPER excited for when you add affinities that are evolved dependent on your choices over time as you say are planned. Let me know how I can help.