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Please only rate teases you have actually seen!
Like all budding new tease creators, we all want to know how our little foray went down with the public.
This has been up for a few days now. Anybody have any suggestions or feedback
cheers
Under the garden Hedge tease
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- Explorer
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:27 am
- Location: Australia
Ok, sorry it took so long, I was a little busy the last few days. So here goes my review:
It has a very strong fantasy element which I really liked!
You went off the path of the stereotypical webtease and that was awesome! Especially the introduction - First you see a house and you're like (wtf?) and then slowly you get to see more and more as you peek through the hedge.
There were a few spelling errors and I think you should make it more clear who is speaking.
Overall a great contribution! Thanks a lot!
It has a very strong fantasy element which I really liked!
You went off the path of the stereotypical webtease and that was awesome! Especially the introduction - First you see a house and you're like (wtf?) and then slowly you get to see more and more as you peek through the hedge.
There were a few spelling errors and I think you should make it more clear who is speaking.
Overall a great contribution! Thanks a lot!
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- Explorer
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:27 am
- Location: Australia
Great feedback... thanks a lot
i was definitely trying to add more of a story element.
I have gone back and fixed the spelling/grammar mistakes and added a few more lines here and there, to make a smoother experience. First rule of posting should be to read your own work
In regards to the dialog, anything in "quotation marks" was her speaking. I was hoping the tone of the language would get this across. I have tried to clean this up a bit as well.
Hopefully people will enjoy v2.0
i was definitely trying to add more of a story element.
I have gone back and fixed the spelling/grammar mistakes and added a few more lines here and there, to make a smoother experience. First rule of posting should be to read your own work
In regards to the dialog, anything in "quotation marks" was her speaking. I was hoping the tone of the language would get this across. I have tried to clean this up a bit as well.
Hopefully people will enjoy v2.0
There was some discussion on your tease here. So I'm reposting it here where it belongs.
Also, thanks for v2, I still found a few things though, should I go through and fix them?
specimen51 wrote:There's a few good ones on there already. "Under the garden hedge" is very original.
That should give you some encouragement.booster wrote:Garden hedge was pretty perfect, I would love to see more tease like that, Thanks again
Also, thanks for v2, I still found a few things though, should I go through and fix them?
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- Explorer
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:27 am
- Location: Australia
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