Under the garden Hedge tease

surfcreanative · Post by **surfcreanative** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 9:48 am

Rate this tease: 1 2 3 4 5
Please only rate teases you have actually seen!

Like all budding new tease creators, we all want to know how our little foray went down with the public.

This has been up for a few days now. Anybody have any suggestions or feedback

cheers

Post by **seraph0x** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:50 am

Ok, sorry it took so long, I was a little busy the last few days. So here goes my review:

It has a very strong fantasy element which I really liked!

You went off the path of the stereotypical webtease and that was awesome! Especially the introduction - First you see a house and you're like (wtf?) and then slowly you get to see more and more as you peek through the hedge.

There were a few spelling errors and I think you should make it more clear who is speaking.

Overall a great contribution! Thanks a lot!

surfcreanative · Post by **surfcreanative** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 11:45 am

Great feedback... thanks a lot

i was definitely trying to add more of a story element.

I have gone back and fixed the spelling/grammar mistakes and added a few more lines here and there, to make a smoother experience. First rule of posting should be to read your own work

In regards to the dialog, anything in "quotation marks" was her speaking. I was hoping the tone of the language would get this across. I have tried to clean this up a bit as well.

Hopefully people will enjoy v2.0

Post by **seraph0x** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 1:43 pm

There was some discussion on your tease here. So I'm reposting it here where it belongs.

specimen51 wrote:There's a few good ones on there already. "Under the garden hedge" is very original.

booster wrote:Garden hedge was pretty perfect, I would love to see more tease like that, Thanks again

That should give you some encouragement.

Also, thanks for v2, I still found a few things though, should I go through and fix them?

surfcreanative · Post by **surfcreanative** » Fri Aug 25, 2006 11:56 am

Sure, go ahead. As long as it is an Australian to American "spelling" error, like centre/center

.

Kudos for the good work on the site

doink · Post by **doink** » Thu Sep 28, 2006 5:15 pm

I tell ya what... Maybe the hottest pic in this tease is that close-up of sexy, perfect feet in perfect high heels, with the woman reaching down to fasten or unfasten them. HOT. ---Doink.

alpahde5 · Post by **alpahde5** » Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:22 am

i have to say i loved this tease, there are so many great ones that people have made, this one is one of my favs, i like the story, i like how it puts you in the scene... i just like it

keep it coming surfcreanative

Under the garden Hedge tease

Under the garden Hedge tease

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