Girlfriends object lesson feedback plz!

[johannmeierjr]

Hi, i would like to have some feedback on my first tease.
I am open for all kinds of criticism.
Would like to know your opinion on
Content
Pictures
Spelling (English is not my native language ;D)

Hope you enjoyed it.

jm

[texturedshroom]

Poor spelling and the girl had no character to her at all; all she did was give instructions. Sorry to be harsh; keep making teases, I'm sure someone enjoyed it.

She was hot though.

[rbtheservant]

Johannmeierjr,

Awesome tease, I love how humiliated I felt staring down at my cock knowing what was going to happen, though my gut sort of got in the way. Back to the sit ups I guess. Great twist with the last page / lesson learned. Continue the great work! I liked it all, no pacing problems, good direction, pehaps I would like to see the items you need for the tease mentioned early on, but to me it was part of the tease!

Thank you, and keep creating,

[johannmeierjr]

Thank you both for reply.

Poor spelling and the girl had no character to her at all; all she did was give instructions. Sorry to be harsh; keep making teases, I'm sure someone enjoyed it.

She was hot though.

That is what made me wait until now to create my first tease^^ As i said, English is not my native language and i wanted somebody to read through it before i publish it, but they could not see the tease before publishing.

And i had the same thought after reading the finished tease, only instructions... but again its hard to play with words in a language i dont really know ^.^ Maybe i should do German teases and somebody will translate them.

Or ill just give my ideas to somebody who is a linguistic pro ;D

[rbtheservant]

That is what made me wait until now to create my first tease^^ As i said, English is not my native language and i wanted somebody to read through it before i publish it, but they could not see the tease before publishing.

And i had the same thought after reading the finished tease, only instructions... but again its hard to play with words in a language i dont really know ^.^ Maybe i should do German teases and somebody will translate them.

Or ill just give my ideas to somebody who is a linguistic pro ;D

Don't be so hard on yourself, I loved the tease. Please keep creating, you will only improve from here.

Happy Teasing,

[duke_no_cum]

I read this teases yesterday while at work and thought it was a great tease, didn't notice any major spelling mistakes or problems.
Just read the feedback here and then read the tease again, still can't see what the problem is all things considered. So great tease, looking forward to seeing more.

texturedshroom, just to say I enjoy your teases a lot to, some are among my favourites, but I don't fully understand your comments on this one.