FB: 24 - Stroking Challenge

[dbt]

Wow.

[Billpanty]

Great first tease! I love the stroke to the beat teases.

Only problem I had was the "edge" and "I came" button placement was not consistent so I ended up hitting the "I came" button on accident my first time through and that of course ended the tease.

Also I think you should not put a timer on the edge as specially in the early stages I could not get to an edge before the timer ran out.

[billlr]

One word: AWESOME!

Bill

[aldorax]

Quite good - a little tedious at times, but a good pace and 'narrative' .... well done!

[Vinc]

Yep, i messed up with the buttons i will change that. Thanks for the overall positiv feedback.

!EDIT! : Okay I think I've fixed all the buttons. they are now in order and in the middle of the page.
Further I changed the first 3 edges from "timer-based" to a edge button.

Second edit: Do you like the girls I used. I'm a huge Sandee Westgate fan so I chose her to be my runner up. Some of those pictures are up to 5 years old and I found them in my "collection"

Maybe I'll do another Tease in future so if you want some special lady to show up I could make it happen not sure yet XD

[aldorax]

Yep, i messed up with the buttons i will change that. Thanks for the overall positiv feedback.

oh no, I thought the button placement was pretty clever ... you get so used to clicking CONTINUE there and then realise it was "I CAME" -- having to start over made me a bit more diligent with the tease! Heck, for all I knew, that was intentional to mess with our heads!

I meant 'tedious' in terms of the constant stroking. Not in a bad way, just not something I'd done in a looooong while.

Still think it was a great tease!

[ka42]

it was a real good fashtease, i liked it. Good stroking speed, no long pause between the scenes.

i like a new tease

You can vary with some pyramide of egde need to be done in some ammount of time. Timed edges later in the tease are also good, even as forced stroking right after edging.. That almost let me cum. :)

[Petey1]

That was a great tease, well paced and a good narrative. Very good. Thank you. I'd like it if you through in a girl with natural breasts, but that is just me. All the girls were very hot.

[Vinc]

Haha, you're right with the natural breasts. Haven't even noticed something like that.

[Triple Alfa]

Well done, 4/5 from me.

Points of improvement for 5/5:
- Don't make assumptions. I noticed the following assumptions:
-- An Edge command with a timer, but without an "I didn't Edge" function.
-- Assuming right-handed people stroke with their right hand and vice-versa.

- Proof read! There are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors in the tease.(of > off, you'll > you're, capitalization, etc.)

- Check your instructions. At the start for example, it tells you to get naked and hard, but not to lube up already. The edge commands with timers also don't specifically tell you to hold the edge or to let go as soon as you hit the edge.(This was confusing the first time.)

- Notify of progression. Only at the very end did a girl mention how far along I was(22). There's a lot of teasing potential in this as well.

- Some more verbal teasing between and during rounds would have been great. The girls didn't really seem that interested in making the player fail.

[Vinc]

Hey thanks.

got that on my list i will check my grammar and spelling. English isn't my first language so be easy on me =D I'm from germany and haven't wrote english for months. I suck

The instructions to let go after an edge comes up with the first edge. But i will add that to the instructions. good point. I haven't though about lube because I do not use it at all.

Notify of progression...isn#t it a tease when you don't know how often you'll have do edge to get to the end?
Some might like it others wont.

Maybe I'will add some more verbal teasing in my next. Thanks for the advice.

Very helpful feedback.

My english sucks

[les]

Tinyspell
free works with very nearly any program.

SpellCheckPlus,
paste text up to 2,000 charaters into the box, click Check Text for any grammar and spelling errors which are then highlighted with explanations for you. When tested and compared with others, this tool was quite impressive and the clear winner for detecting grammatical problems.


PaperRater
checks your document for grammar and spelling errors. On top of that, it helps you to improve the document's readability, word choice and style by an in-depth analysis.

After the Deadline,
check your writing in a text box and get feedback on spelling errors, grammar and style suggestions.

You can also drag the bookmarklet
Add Proofreader
to your browser's bookmark bar so that you can use it on any webpage with a text box.

[Frozen88]

You could also do a german tease

[Holdingout1]

What I liked best was the stroke sound - kinda like a drum . . . .where did you find that?

[Stair_Car]

I second the cool metronome sound. I absolutely HATE the default sound. It's like masturbating to pong.

This tease was a lot of fun. I lost count of how many times I had edged, and so by the end I was thinking "My God, how many more can there possibly be? Will I ever make it?" Great tease.