1. A woman is more likely to want to commit adultery during ovulation than at any other time in her cycle.

2. Telling a convincing lie to someone is much more difficult when you find them sexually attractive.

3. Minute quantities of over 30 different substances have been identified in human semen ...

Dentist Appointment

After having a very pleasant 69 with his girlfriend, Joe remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid the Dentist would notice the smell of pussy on his breath, so he brushed his teeth, used dental floss, and also used a whole 4-oz. bottle of Listerine.

As he arrived ...

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath; taste it and find out."


***********


I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut,you 'd ...

Lost In The Desert

A man is lost in the desert. He used up the last of his water three days ago and he's lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling "Mush! Mush!"

Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time -- "Mush ...

In a small Irish village, as was the ancient custom, a matchmaker was often employed to arrange marriages. One sunny day the village matchmaker approached one of the more attractive single woman in the marketplace and told her he had a husband for her. "I'm ashamed to bring this up," he said, "but ...

A man walks past an ice cream stand that advertises, "Every flavor ice cream in the world."

"Bullshit," thinks the man and walks in. "So you say you have every flavor ice cream in the world?" "O.K., I would like three scoops of cunt flavored ice cream please."

"No problem sir." The assistant gives ...