I was recently thinking about various attitudes towards chastity. I thought of a few different ones, and I wanted to post about them here. But first, I thought I would check the forum and see what has already been discussed.
I did a search for "chastity" in the subject line of forum discussions, and found that most were discussions of the merits of various chastity devices. That is, they were discussions of "how to best do chastity", not "why do people like chastity". The most recent Forum discussion I could find about reasons for chastity, is this one. So, I think this is the best place to add my thoughts on various chastity scenarios.
1) SPH and cuckold.
Many of the chastity and orgasm control/denial teases I have seen feature this theme. In the Small Penis Humiliation scenario, the sub feels that his penis is tiny or otherwise unworthy. He is in a relationship with a domme who does not desire regular sex with the sub, since his penis is too small to satisfy her. In some of these scenarios, the domme wants to be satisfied by the sub orally, or with the use of various sex toys. In others, the domme will have very little sexual interaction with the sub, and will get sexual pleasure from other men.
I do not have a small penis, and I have no desire to be cuckolded, so I cannot relate to these scenarios too much.
2) Transgender.
Some people who were born biologically male feel themselves to be females trapped in male bodies. Some have fantasies of having their male sex organs removed, and others simply want to lock away their male genitals for the long term. ("Out of signt; out of mind.")
I cannot personally relate to this.
3) God hates orgasms.
Some people feel that having very few orgasms, or none at all, is more spiritually pure than a life which includes sexual pleasure.
I was raised in a somewhat conservative religious environment. However, I have pretty thoroughly rejected this idea. I am more inclined to agree with Woody Allen, who said "Sex is only dirty if it's done right."
4) I want to suffer for you.
Some people are emotional masochists, who seek out a partner who behaves in an angry, cruel or punishing manner. This cruelty can be manifested through the infliction of pain (whipping, spanking, etc.), or the denial of pleasure, including denial of orgasms. If the domme often says “you do not deserve to cum”, this may be Scenario 4.
I am a switch, and I am more dom than sub. When I am submitting, though, I like to please the domme. I could enjoy a scenario where the domme says “do XY and Z”, and then I do it, and then the domme says “good boy!” and shows appreciation for what I have done. I would not like to be with a domme whose preferred scenario is “give the submissive nearly impossible tasks, and then punish harshly for failure”.
5) I want to obey and please you.
Scenario 4 and Scenario 5 are each a matter of degree, and they can often co-exist within the same relationship. The difference is tone. If the domme and/or sub expect that the sub will often be criticized or harshly punished, it is Scenario 4, whereas if the domme is typically pleased with the sub, it is Scenario 5.
This relates to chastity, in that the submissive wants to feel a strong emotional connection to the domme. If the sub is at work, and it is noon on Tuesday, the sub could not have sex at that moment anyway… but wearing a chastity device, or remembering the orgasm control rules of the domme, means that the sub can still feel the thrill of being owned and controlled.
I can totally relate to Scenario 5.
6) Waiting for Christmas. (aka “food tastes better when you are hungry”)
Sometimes, the anticipation of future pleasure can be a source of pleasure itself. And a pleasant experience can be more intense if you have to wait for it.
I typically enjoy the fantasy of long-term chastity, more than I enjoy the reality of it. If it is Saturday morning, and I am going to masturbate, and I came on Friday night, then my Saturday orgasm will be a lot more intense if I visualize a fantasy scenario wherein I have not been able to orgasm for days, weeks, or months. Edging can build desire, but just imagining that I have been in long-term chastity can also build desire.
When I have tried to do several days of actual chastity, the loss of pleasure on the days that I cannot cum has been worse than the level of pleasure that I gained on the day that I could finally have an orgasm. As a comparison, imagine that you want to intensely enjoy your supper on Saturday night, even though the food is not your favorite. One way of doing that, would be to skip several meals first (skip Friday supper, Saturday breakfast and Saturday lunch). I am sure this would enhance the pleasure of Saturday dinner, but almost no one does this. Why? Because the unpleasantness of starving yourself for 24 hours is greater than the pleasure you would gain when you finally enjoy your Saturday supper.
In summary, for me at least, long-term chastity can be a very hot fantasy, but it is not something I would enjoy in real life.
7) Tantric sex / tantric edging
I am not an expert on tantric sex. I did find this Wikipedia article about it to be interesting:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neotantra
However, I have enjoyed Ms. Julie’s flash tease “O Control (Level 1)”, and I look forward to doing all of her teases. In my opinion and experience, having several days of no orgasms where I am allowed or encouraged to edge a lot, is very different from several days of no orgasms where I am not allowed to touch myself or even become erect. The essential difference between what I will call “tantric edging” and being locked in chastity, is that with tantric edging, there is a lot of sexual stimulation and pleasure, but it stops short of a full orgasm. With typical sex or masturbation, the male’s sexual desire rises fairly steadily until he achieves orgasm, at which point he loses his erection and loses his desire for sex. With tantric edging, the male repeatedly gets close to orgasm without quite achieving it. If this is done over the course of several days, the cumulative sexual pleasure of the edges may exceed the sexual pleasure that the man might have felt if he had gotten two normal orgasms each day.
I have recently begun exploring tantric edging, and so far I am enjoying it very much.
I hope that the seven scenarios I have described above are a pretty good overview of the different motivations for chastity. Have I left anything out? If so, I hope that others will speak up and let us know of the scenarios that I missed.
