Hmmm...
Your little problem is accompanied by two bigger problems hanging right below it. I daresay we can find a use for them, however. Take a shoelace and tie it nice and tight around your balls. Now, I want you to tie rope around your ankles if it's not still attached, squat, and then use the two wrist laces to tie your balls to each ankle restraint. Don't give yourself much slack.
Now try and stand up. Oh, I know you can't. But I want you to try.
You can try harder than that. Go on!