I'm not being mean, I'm being honest.
From what you're telling me my diagnosis is that... you're a pathetic loser. I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but you're just one of those guys who's lot in life is to chronically masturbate.
No, there is no cure for you.
Look, I bet you'd drop your pants right here in my office and start jerking off if I told you to, wouldn't you?
See, I didn't actually say to do it, but you started to anyway. Just as I thought.
Look at you, you're just staring at my clitty and stroking your cock until you're as hard as you can get!