I hope it didn’t take you too long. Only joking, I hope it took you a VERY long time and caused you a lot of pain in the process. You’re not out of the water yet though. I want you to grab a plastic bottle (ideally 50cl although even bigger if you really want to impress me) and that shoe-lace from earlier. Fill the bottle up to the top and fasten the lid.
Then tie up your balls again but with the bottle attached to your balls as well. The bottle should end up hanging down, pulling tightly on your balls when lifted off the ground. Every time you stand up, that bottle should be causing a hell of a lot of pain!