Penis Cream (by Richard Lovel)
The label reads:
NURSE'S BRAND PENIS CREAM (R)
"Soothing relief for intimate itching"
Indications: minor abrasions of the male organs caused by excessive friction or manual abuse.
Instructions: 1) Ensure that male organs are exposed and easily accessible. Prepare penis by stimulating to full erection. 2) Apply generous amount of Nurse's Brand Penis Cream (R) to the glans and shaft of the erect penis, especially to abraded areas. 3) Spread cream along the shaft with light circular motions of the thumb and fingers. Be sure that the entire length of the shaft is covered. 4) Continue rubbing slowly until cream is completely absorbed by the penis (about 30 minutes), maintaining erection throughout treatment to ensure that pores of the skin are fully dilated. Note: some patients may be prone to ejaculation during application, and appropriate steps should be taken to prevent this.
Warnings: Unsupervised use by patient may lead to masturbatory addiction or aggravation of pre-existing masturbatory habits. Must be applied strictly according to instructions and only under supervision by nurse or other medical professional.
(R) Registered trademark of PenisCare, Inc.