It's going to be a long long cruise
Hello, loser. You should be opening this after you've been at sea for a week or two. Is it hard to find privacy on a navy ship? I've heard it is. This letter should get you really pissed at me, but knowing what a loser you are, it will probably just make you horny instead. So, if you don't want to be embarassed or frustrated, maybe you should just discard it and not read any further.
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