Barbara steps in front of you and bends down as if to kiss or taunt you:
"Don't worry too much about getting him crying again, Brittie," she says confidently. "Once you start smacking that paddle against those strap stripes crisscrossing his buns, he'll be sobbing pitifully after only a dozen or so paddy-whackers--trust me on this, I've had plenty of recent experience paddling Paul after strapping his seat first."