Away with the Faeries
'Thats better, now I can relax. I'm guessing you have some questions, though you won't be asking them, as you can't speak here. So I'll explain, and you'll stroke yourself as I do so, clear?' [Start stroking]
'First off, you're probably wondering who I am, yes? I am Princess Alexia. You're pretty good at stroking that thing, I bet you've had alot of practice, eh?' She runs her hands up her body. 'Now, where are you? You men creatures are always so concerned about where you are, sufficed to say, you have trespassed upon my realm. Some call it the Vale of Freya, its apart of a much larger plane of reality known to some as The Fae, its ruled over by the Faerie Queen, who you, man creature, should hope you never meet. That would not end well at all. Believe me. Really.' It strikes you as a little odd that shes smiling as she says all this.
'Now what I've just told you has probably posed more questions than it answered, but frankly, I don't much care. Though I should clear one thing up, you're probably thinking, "how can these beautiful women I've seen be faeries?, they're normal size, not tiny like... whats her name... Tinkerbell". Rest assured, we are Faeries and we are much more powerful than any cartoons would have you believe.'