The sorority president (Finale to "Like strawberries")
...you are just the man I'm looking for.
You see, there is a little-known tradition in this sorority.
The tradition is that the sorority president must abstain from all heterosexual relations while serving as president.
That means, essentially, that they have to be a LUG.
That stands for Lesbian Until Graduation. (chuckles)
Isn't that cute?
And yet kind of politically incorrect.
I've done all kinds of stuff with the sisters here in the sorority house late nights.
I've even done some things with "Strawberry" and Sandy.
I was the one that smelled "Strawberry"'s armpit and gave her her nickname.
(She tastes like strawberries "down there" also, in case you were wondering.)
But I never did anything with guys while I was president of the sorority.
Not like there weren't ample opportunities.
One frat guy tried, but I rebuffed him quite soundly.
His testicles are in a jar on my desk upstairs.
(a long pause)
Just kidding. (giggles)