Got them? Ok, we'll start on first base to be nice. Get some ice cubes and place them on your penis. Make that thing shrink to the smallest you've ever seen it.
Rub the ice cubes up and down the shaft, mixing the melting water with the lube to make it really wet and sloppy. Mmmm.
After that pop one partially melted ice cube into that slut hole of yours and push it in deep with your finger. I recommend pushing it in as quickly as possible.