Hi, baby.
It's me, Priya, your loving, obedient wife.
I just sent you this DVD I burned to let you know that I've been cheating on you.
It's not that I don't love you anymore.
It's just that I don't want to have your children.
You see, you know how my mother had sex with a white man, and she got pregnant with ME?
Well, I've always thought that would be SOOOOOOO hot if I did the same.
I mean, let's be honest: I only really married YOU because our marriage was arranged, and I've always had a hard time accepting you sexually.