First time sex with a teddy bear (by request)
Ebony: And I know I'M not a lesbian.
I've been driven half-mad by my wanting to have sex with Matty.
But I promised his parents that I wasn't some "hoochie mama" from the ghetto, like they thought when I first visited them when we were engaged.
Linda: They thought THAT about you? That is SO ignorant!
Ebony: I KNOW, right? I am anything BUT ghetto!
But I guess race relations have a little bit further to go, even with Obama as President.
Linda: Oh well! I did help you with proving your honor to them. I even held your hand in the gynecologist's exam room, making sure the doctor didn't break your hymen when he made sure you were still a virgin.
Ebony: Yes, and thanks for that. You are a true friend.
Linda: And speaking of "relations", let's have some with "Alfie" here.
Ebony: Mmmmmmmmmm.
His penis looks so pink and inviting.