Christmas in the Heir (A Locktime Holiday Original)
You order a coffee and a breakfast sandwich and decide to call Kenzie after a text exchange where you explain that you "didn't fuck the deal up, but you have some 'weird' news."
When she picks up, she begins to explain that she and Kyle are "probably over." You add that that's probably a good thing, and you resist saying "I told you so," when she says he's a douche. But you encourage her to make the trip up to Christmas, because the deal will probably go more smoothly if she's here.
"Oooh, if I come tonight, maybe we could play 'Naughty Santa?'"
"I--that's the weird thing. As of right now, that won't work."
"Huh? Did you catch feelings for our little heiress?
"You promise not to laugh?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die."
You explain the device, the research you've done, how you have to sit down to pee now, and the extraordinarily frustrating case of blue balls you're plagued with at the moment, all while Kenzie barely stifles snickers over the phone.
"Kenz, you promised!"
"I'm sorry, but you have to admit, it's kinda funny. And, to be honest, the way you condescend to women who you think you're smarter than? You kinda deserve to be punished for thinking with your small-brain, loverboy; so anyway, what's your plan?"
You curse inwardly at her playful, teasing attitude toward your predicament.