Guy has an "off day" (part 8 of "The Guy Saga")
Guy: This is Britney.
She came to us ready to put her wedding off.
But then she gave US a try, and now she is happily married, and about to be a MOM!
Heather: Why is she naked in the photo?
Guy: Oh, that. Well, this is a photo that her new husband took of her just before he had sex with her for the first time.
It was HER idea to send it to us to thank us for what we did.
Can you believe they went skydiving and parasailing for their honeymoon?
Heather: But why a NAKED picture? I mean, this IS counseling, right?
Guy: Well, it's a different kind of counseling.
You see, part of the process is...sexual.
Heather: You mean you talk about sex?
That's not too unusual.
I AM a virgin, but I don't mind talking about it.
Guy: Well.....we do a little bit more than "talk".
(a long pause)
Heather: You mean....
OH MY GOSH! You actually HAVE SEX with your clients?
OH MY...NO! NO! Absolutely not!
Guy: No, not always.
Sometimes we do other stuff.
For example, the program I have planned for YOU is for you to take a bath in front of a man while I masturbate.
Heather: I don't know...
Guy: Don't worry, Heather. Here at "Confidence Building for Future Brides" we respect the parameters of each client. We do not do anything that we feel would be detrimental towards the self-esteem or the future health of the marriage relationship of our clients.
So if you don't want to do this, there's the door.
But we really hope you will give us a chance.
Heather: No sex?
Guy: Not unless you want to. But I have no plans to initiate it. Just masturbation.
(Heather ponders the situation.)