"Your tinder date was an asshole. He didn't really listen to you, flirted with the waitress, and he didn't offer to pay for anything. Why would you settle for a guy who treads you like shit?
Turns out he's hung. When he told you to suck his dick, you instantly dropped to your knees.
You hit the jackpot and you're as happy as a girl can be."
Try to smile like the girl in the picture.