Date Night
“At least someone who’s able to follow basic orders, and isn’t a complete imbecile like her.
Put them on me, then kiss them all over.
Good. Now lick them. Remove every speck of dust on them and let them shine!
If you’re good, maybe the next pair of shoes I want to throw out might go to you instead. Then you can lick it clean and remove every single speck of dirt, dust and mud from the street. You can use your teeth to get out the small stones stuck in the soles, and get your tongue in all those little cracks. A nice complement to your usual meals, right?
That way, you can do more than just worship the ground I walk on. You can actually have the ground I walk on become a part of you!
But that’s something for another time. Maybe.”