Come forward minion...
Aha, the wanker! I've been expecting you.
Awww... did you expect to go to heaven?
No no no!
For a lifetime of lustful thoughts and masturbation you have been brought to me for eternal punishment.
See, you have your cock in your hand now! You really are a compulsive wanker.
Well don't worry, you have the rest of eternity to masturbate here...
[YOU SEE BEFORE YOU A PILE OF SALT AND A TOOTHBRUSH... GO GET THOSE OBJECTS NOW]