Do you have them? Okay, then follow these orders exactly:
Sit down on your chair, take one of them and tie your big toes together.
Then take another and tie it firmly around your cock and your balls. Wrap them several times but make sure to leave some shoelace.
Connect the rest of the shoelace with the lower one.
Tie your dominant hand with the third shoelace and connect it with the connection between the other ones.
And now: stand up! Haha, this gait is in line with you - looks like an ape.