I need you to get a few more things for me. Firstly I need you to go to kitchen and cook 150ml of water with 50g of porridge oats or oatmeal. Don't you dare add any salt! Get a slice of white bread while your there. Finally drink a whole glass of water. If you don't have oats, bread blended with a little water into a paste or very overcooked pasta will have to do.
Next stop is the toilet and shower. Firstly undo your shower trap. Gooey lump of hair? Well your in luck, add that your things. Finally get one square of toilet roll and wipe it round the toilet seat.
Good boy.