All right, wussy, let's see if I can motivate you a bit. You'll never touch them, but maybe my beautiful breasts will urge you onward toward complete loss of your masculinity.
SPADES: Rest for 60 seconds.
HEARTS: Re-lube and offer up 100 strokes as quickly as possible.
DIAMONDS: Untie your balls, if they are tied. Proceed to the next task.
CLUBS: 100 very slow strokes.