OK, go find something that can serve as a butt plug. A small plug, dildo or carrot will do. Crawl to wherever you have this and bring it back to me in your mouth.
Great. Lay down on your back, with your legs spread high in the air. Now suck on that plug for 20 seconds and then stick it right into your ass. Don't hesitate to stick in right in, no matter how much it hurts.