Get yourself hard by any means, and remain hard while you go get rubber bands, a shoe lace, and a hairbrush and or wooden spoon. Go quickly.
Now, wrap one band at the base of your cock and balls, another where your balls meet your cock, and then one above each ball, separating them.
Are you ready?
Stroke your cock 100 times.
Now, find an online metronome and set it to 200bpm.
Flick your right ball for as long as you.
Done?
Now the left.
This should wake them up!
Stroke your cock 50 times