Look at this turd I made last month!
It looks just like a cock!
I actually pooped this one into the toilet but I was so amazed by its shape that I fished it out and put it on display on the table here...
The funny thing is, its a lot bigger than your cock!
Get your face close to that shit now and start wanking your cock.
Smell my month-old turd. Is it nice?
Give me 50 very-very slow strokes.
I want you to savor the aroma of my crap
Once you are finished I want you to meet me back in the hallway again.