You little shit! Even as I lie here, wounded and afraid, you're going to jerk off right before my face to someone else AND THEN to add insult to injury, you're now telling me that she's much more attractive than me? How insensitive!
Smack those balls for me - separately! Tie them up or hold them apart if you have to, and give each ball 20 hard smacks, and don't alternate between smacks.