*laughs* Awww, is that jar your new girlfriend? I'm getting jealous!
You can stop now. I want you to take some of that mayo and spread it all over your asshole. Spread it on thick like you did with your nipples!
Ok take that carrot and spread even more mayo over that. Can you guess what's next?
That's right! Slide it up there! No, not that way... I want you to push the wide end in first. Don't let go of it or you might lose it up there forever!
Slide it in slowly...that's right. Now fuck your asshole with it...in and out...
Keep doing that for another 2 minutes. Do it slow for the first minute then fast for the second minute.